I currently have my brother listed as my POA for everything, but I know he and his wife could care less about being there for me when I may need it. They have not every really shown me any empathy or interest since my Mother passed away. He and his wife are single, are financially stable, and have no children. It saddens me to see how distant they have become since Covid and my Mom's passing.
I recently signed up for an app to contact my emergency list if I do not check in on time. I emailed the info I received from that service to him and he didn't utter one word to me about it. I have no other family members left that care. No friends either.
WHERE can I find someone to handle things for me when the time comes? I want very much to take him off my POA paperwork and as Executor of my Will since I know he doesn't want to be bothered.
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She had a full-time nurse, people who came to her home and managed her checkbook, and the bank even set up some of its retired female employees to come to visit her. They were probably paid something. Some read to her a few times a week because her vision was declining. I'm sure that all this required a great deal of money, but I met all of her helpers, and they were very nice and took an interest in her.
However, it shows that there are nice people who will go above and beyond! Yes, they were paid, but it went beyond that. They enjoyed her. Even though you might use a fiduciary agent who can't provide all of those things, there might be volunteers in your neighborhood who would drop in and read or chat to someone who doesn't have any relatives. Ask around and see what you can line up.
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Were I you, imperfect as it may be, I would ask my brother if he is interested in being your POA or not. If so, leave him your assets, and if not, tell him, you will be leaving them to your local animal shelter.