Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
S
Scott456 Asked November 12, 2023

Took care of my mother for two years and four months with the help of another person giving her baths.

Went through several people I believe eight before I found a girl that could show up every day seven days a week and before I hand I had dealt with adult protective services twice the second time I’ve had her die tested before they got out here and I told him they couldn’t ask. Ask her any questions because she’s a three-year-old, well they got pissed off and left now it’s been two years and four months and I think it’s time for her to go to the senior living facility and they give me f*****g headaches. They close your account lock it up when I wasn’t gonna touch Novembers anyway I had money in there because I was transferring crap because I haven’t worked for two years and four months so plus add $77,000 of my own money in it , anyway these people lock the account my freaking check bounces for my insurance and car and it’s on over a weekend. I believe it’s ridiculous. They should they should’ve just called me and asked me adult protective services has too much power in my belief without knowing the whole story, they just jump into crap , I promised my mom I would keep her out of the nursing home as long as possible that’s why she made me POA. What should I do about this deal with APS

NeedHelpWithMom Nov 14, 2023
Scott,

I hope that you are able to resolve this matter quickly and find a place for your mom.

It’s very difficult to do the hands on care ourselves. I was the primary caregiver for my mom also. After awhile it takes a toll on us and we can no longer do it.

Choosing to be your mom’s advocate is very wise, then you can return to being your mom’s son and oversee her care that will be provided by a professional staff.

HappyRobin Nov 14, 2023
Scott, I don’t know the situation of course, and you were so distressed (and tired?) that I couldn’t quite follow some of your post, but I wanted to send you support.

I agree an attorney might be warranted, but having myself just come through a long dark period of solo caregiving without a day off since before COVID, please take my advice, sleep. And eat. And take a walk if you can, even to the street corner.

In my situation I didn’t (still don’t) always recognize the true nature of things or respond correctly because I’m just so dang tired. Even now as I regularly sleep, eat and practice “self care” 🤮 I’m still so tired I can’t function some days.

We bust our arses for the people we love to be accused by small-minded twits who didn’t help when we asked but who want to pick us to death now.

BUT having slept and eaten, I’m much more likely to recognize what I need to deal with and when I can ignore the pissants who just want to bite my ankles.

If you’ve honestly done your best as her power of attorney and you can document it, put the situation aside for the moment and rest. Then tomorrow collect your info, call your attorney, and if they don’t say not to, call the APS investigator and ask what’s going on and how you can help. Mind what you say because they do work with local law enforcement so anything you say may be some part of a case, but you may be surprised at how much they actually care.

Also the bank is vested in covering its corporate tushie so the account getting locked may have been an internal bank move, not APS, esp if you are a joint account holder, so you might want to ask about that as well.

ADVERTISEMENT


Geaton777 Nov 12, 2023
So, it seems that the county is now guardian for your Mom? Otherwise I don't think they'd have any power to lock you out of her bank account. That was our experience with my SFIL.

But if you have the PoA documents and bank statements showing where the money was coming from/going to then take that to an attorney to clear it up.

JoAnn29 Nov 12, 2023
I agree, u need a lawyer. You can prove you transferred money from you acct.

cwillie Nov 12, 2023
You need a lawyer to guide you through this.

Fawnby Nov 12, 2023
This post is confusing, but it certainly does seem that your mom needs to be where she has 24/7 care by professionals.

Good luck in placing her.
Scott456 Nov 13, 2023
Thank you and by the way, I went to her family doctor and asked for help getting her into a senior living center, because my Health Aide was going to quit to take more hours at her work, just saying it seems like a awful lot to put somebody through after they ask for help..

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter