Has anyone, as POA (daughter, me) and LO w/dementia (mild - mod) sold the LO's home, name is listed as owner on condo/home?

Make a home for your mom near you - either with you or in a nearby place. Then, sell her place.

Sorry, but I pressed send too soon. I wanted to elaborate on the sale of moms house and the move. It was not a piece of cake to move her. I had to get rid of furnishing and junk from a 3 bedroom 2 bath home. I sold the dining table and the old living room furniture on craigs list. I donated several truck loads of crap... old clothes, nicknacks, old kitchen gadgets, etc. I moved a large mirror, her TV and her brass bed into her new assisted living apartment. Took the proceeds from the sale of her old furniture and bought her new apartment sized couch, chair and footstool. I made a big deal about decorating her new apartment. She loved it. In the beginning there were a lot of phone calls and comments of wanting to go home. That is until she met one of the few men in the facility and that changed things drastically. She then had someone to lunch with and watch tv with. It was the best thing any of us could have hoped for. He was a kind man and we had him to our home for holiday dinners and birthday celebrations and sometimes I would pick the two of them up for a ride in the car with icecream. Their friendship lasted for at least 4 years and then he passed. Then covid hit and she was isolated and worsened and required a move into memory care. My point in telling you all of this is that their disease state is always changing. Their needs are always changing. The sale of your moms house is one of many steps for her and you.

it's better to start the process of selling moms condo now rather than waiting until there is an emergency.

Good luck to you and your sister.

My name was not on my moms home, but I am her POA so I did hire a realtor and sold the home. Told mom it was no longer safe for her to live alone. Found an assisted living facility near my home that had a connecting building with memory care. Used the money from the sale of the home to pay for the assisted living and memory care. After almost 10 years, the money ran out and had to then move her to a memory care facility that accepted Medicaid.

judy4158: Retain an elder law attorney.

My DH and I are listed as POAs for his mother. She is a piece of work. She has hallucinations, delusions, and a host of other issues. She thought her house was haunted after my FAther-in-law passed. It didn’t help that the house was in shambles. She was afraid and would call the police frequently because of her delusions.

Due to bad behavior on her part, we couldn’t have her and her nasty dog live with us. Imagine constant fighting and a destructive dog that would have defecated every wherein the house.

We managed to get her into assisted living, which she thought was temporary, but was really permanent. Once there, I started cleaning up her house. Since she hoarded clothes, shoes , curtains, furniture, whatever, it had to be hauled to Goodwill, Salvation Army, other charities. It took some time. After that, we hired a company to clear out the attic and the furniture, kitchen cabinets, old wall to wall carpet and started fixing everything we could.

The whole effort from start to finish took 8 months and the house was sold. She would not have returned. She was afraid to be alone in the house, would have destroyed the fixed up house, and really didn’t know what she wanted. Her dream was something out of a movie like “The Enchanted Cottage.” She wanted some middle aged woman to take care of her in a cottage by the sea or near us. We thought she’d move in and fire the poor person in no time flat if they were gullible enough to work for her in a heartbeat.

Things never work out that way. She is in an ALF 3.5 hours from us, doesn’t receive visits because she is vicious, and just lost her dog, because she refused to allow the facility to clean the room regularly. The dog was adopted by a staff member. I think the dog was fortunate.

The house is no longer a burden. We did let her know that the house was sold. She was angry, but in the entire time she has been at this facility, she has not made an effort to leave. She must realize that it isn’t worth the effort to pursue any recourse. She finally really has what she wants. Nobody bothers her. She’d banned visits to her and her home for 15 years before my husband’s father passed. Only after he passed, did she want any family contact.

Protect yourself and family and mother by conferring with an Elder Law Attorney. This may save you all a lot of grief and, in long run assure that you knew all the options to navigate what can be a circuitous, tricky path.

During the process in selling, you will need an attorney, right? Elder law attorneys also do real estate transactions. You can ask that attorney if this is part of their specialty.

My parents entered a nursing home in NY about 6 months ago. At the time they had a home in NY and a condo in FL. My sister and I are POA and we both live in different states from my parents. My mom has dementia and my dad is blind. They could not live alone any longer but refused to even look at senior communities. My dad fell when I was in NY to take my mom to a neurologist and the hospital asked me if he should go to rehab/nursing home. I said yes. My mom had no option but to follow him into the nursing home as she could not live alone and refused to leave his side.
The past six months have been consumed with selling their home and condo and emptying out their things from each residence. Was it difficult, absolutely! Did it need to happen, Absolutely!
Since your mom is willing to look at senior communities, then take her to them. Since she has dementia, she can't make all the decisions for herself. That is why you have POA; you have to make the hard decisions. Do what makes your mom safe. It is hard but you have been given the job of deciding for her when she cannot decide for herself. I wish you all the luck in the world. It is hard but knowing that they are safe at least helps you sleep at night. Do what you can now, don't wait, it will not get easier.

I am my mother's POA.

We also had a Real Estate POA executed that enabled me to sell her home.

It was a smooth transaction.

The worst part was cleaning out 45 years of stuff on my own prior to listing the home.

No, I do not believe you can do this. Not as POA.
You say that you, your sister, AND your mother are ALL ON TITLE AND DEED?
Is that correct?
If so, then any ONE of you, according to many state laws, can "force the sale" of the condo. That is you can say you want to sell, and require all others to do so as well. This would be a COURT action for which you would get an attorney. It is not done as POA.

You say nothing about your mother being incompetent.
If she is not you have a poor understanding of the duties as POA and you should attend an elder law attorney to get facts, as well as reading your document about your powers.
While the principle who appointed you POA is COMPETENT to make her own decisions SHE DECIDES what will be done in her life. Not you. When she is no longer competent, when her dementia is to the state where she cannot safely make decisions, THEN you can sell the home and place her as you see best for her own safety.

Currently your mother, if not incompetent, can remove your POA in two seconds by walking into any attorney office she wishes. Were you aware of this?
Do become educated about POA in your own state. It is crucial. It is a LEGAL FIDUCIARY duty held to the highest standards under the law.

You need to read your POA to see what it says about selling. Is it immediate or Springing where you need a formal diagnosis of Dementia before it is in effect? Since 2 out if 3 of the owners want to sell, Mom may have no choice. I would say 1/3 of the proceeds are hers. But maybe you and sister are willing to put all the proceeds towards Moms care. The home has to be sold at Market Value in case Medicaid is needed within the next 5 yrs. You may want to consult with an Elder Lawyer as suggested.

If Mom is showing signs of Dementia, she needs an Assisted Living or even Memory care.

We had to “rip the bandaid” for my LO’s safety, and we sold a house in which LO had been born, that had been in the family for 120 years,

Many people in your mother’s age group have a very tough time adjusting to this situation, and as loving POAs you will find yourself in a position in which you will be forced to make choices that will result in less than happy endings.

If she shouldn’t be driving, she shouldn't be driving. If you sell the condo and tell her that you want her to be living nearer to you and your sister, that transition at least will be a little more natural- “You don’t really need the car any more Mom, we’re glad to take you to——-.”

Many POAs/caregivers consider this period of decision making especially difficult. I definitely felt that way, but once done things ultimately smoothed out for LO.

Does she lack the capacity to take care of herself? If she still has the ability to do her ADL's and IADL's your POA might not be viable, but of course you may not know what state her finances are in if you don't have access
https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-are-adls-and-iadls-2510011
Maybe talk with a certified elderlaw attorney (CELA) if you're unsure as to where you stand. Would assume that at least her share of the sale would be applied to her living costs. If it is the beginings of dementia, keep in mind that a move to a community that offers a good memory care program for her future needs might be best.

Judy, right now mom is visiting. Can she get back home without your assistance?