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aj6044 Asked November 2023

More fake checks. Mom thinks they're real and doesn't get it. Any advice?

Mom has been talking to her online "friends" who have been sending her checks in the mail. One was from a transport company in La Vergne, TN she claimed was from a friend of my late dad's. I called the company and it was fake - lady told me I was the 10th person that month to ask about a mysterious check. The check today was from somebody in Pierre, SD for $20,000. The address is a residential house I found on Zillow. Could not locate the name of the person whatsoever. The check is missing a fractional bank number - look that up, it's hard to explain. It's the teeny tiny number on every check somewhere near the top. All checks have them.


 


I told the care company to shred it. Mom found out and is yelling and screaming. She does not care or understand that it's fake - only that she lost $20,000. How can I prevent this besides taking away her phone? Her iPhone is the only connection she has to the world. I could go through it and delete every app and Facebook friend she has, but it wouldn't last. She'd find new apps, and new people eventually.


 


Nobody is prepared for cognitive decline in the digital age.

graygrammie Nov 2023
Sign your mom up for Informed Delivery on the USPS website. Every day you can log in and see what mail is coming her way that day. At least that way you will know what is coming in the mail. Maybe her caregivers can intercept the mail before she gets it. And if you can get hold of the mail intact, report it to the United States Postal Inspection Service.

My father and your mother are part of a generation where everyone was trustworthy. They don't understand that people aren't nice today and are out to swindle them. They don't understand that, for all intents and purposes, they should trust no one beyond their circle of family and friends. My dad's misplaced trust had me in a bank for over an hour today. It is frustrating. I monitor as much as I can from five hours away but I can't watch his online activities 24/7.
aj6044 Nov 2023
Ah that's smart
Tandemfun4us Nov 2023
I forwarded all mail to my house. The only mail that isnt forwarded is to resident . That helped a lot!

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ConnieCaretaker Nov 22, 2023
US Mail being used to receive fraudulent checks? If your mom is receiving fraudulent mail then you need to file a report.

Report – United States Postal Inspection Service

How to Contact the U.S. Postal Inspection Service
If you believe you’ve been targeted by a scam involving the U.S. Mail, you can get help by contacting your nearest Postal Inspection Service office in one of three ways:
Call 1-877-876-2455.
Visit www.uspis.gov to report suspected fraud online.
Mail your queries to this address:
CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS SERVICE CENTER
ATTN: MAIL FRAUD
433 HARRISON STREET RM 3255
CHICAGO IL 60699-3255
https://www.uspis.gov ;› report

Also, check out RAZ Memory Cell Phone for ALZ patients:
https://www.razmobility.com/solutions/memory-cellphone/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA6vaqBhCbARIsACF9M6mjbsAfB6HhTbgEe3YOLNZl-blFN0Pc527dU3sol5KiWGN10h79S5MaAimaEALw_wcB

AlvaDeer Nov 2023
Aj, where is your mother living now that she is getting this mail?
Is she in a care facility, or in your home?
Someone may at some point need to take control of mail that is causing this much disruption, if your mother has dementia and this is a problem as a result of her diagnosis.

This could get bad at some point. Would your mother make you her POA for banking and financial? I was asked by my brother, diagnosed with probable early Lewy's to do this for him, leaving him a small account of his own with a few thousand in it. That way your Mom can do as she pleases without losing money.

You might consider a field trip with Mom, appointment with her bank's office. I think that would help. Sometimes this can be very dangerous with them sending a lottery check and saying you won, but until you send a tax check for 10,000 or something the funds won't come available. This can be really a losing thing for our seniors.

AARP website has a lot of info for you.
aj6044 Nov 2023
She's in her own apartment. her caregivers found it in her mail. I am her POA and she has a ss payee thank god so her bills ARE paid before she gets any spending money.

I'll check out aarp
cxmoody Nov 2023
Maybe ditch her phone, and get her a RAZ phone?

”Whoops, Mom. That phone company went under. Here’s a new phone.”
aj6044 Nov 2023
She wouldn't believe Verizon doesn't exist anymore when there's ads on TV
Ohwow323 Nov 2023
Get her a Grandpad, it has phone, internet (has to be special set up otherwise it is not there) the phone does not need wifi it uses data. And the purchaser (you) would be the one to set up the people who can call. NO SPAM callers! It was the best $200.00 I ever spent and customer service is the best! As far as the mail - tell her you have a business manager for her items and that the manager needs to look at all of the mail first because she is in that 'GROUP' now.

BurntCaregiver Nov 2023
Are her caregivers live-ins? If they aren't then they should be if she has dementia and is screaming and carrying on because she doesn't understand what a scam looks like.

I think your statement about nobody being prepared for cognitive decline in the digital age is absolutely brilliant. This is certainly an issue that should be seeing some serious discussion.

In the meantime, there are certain apps that can be downloaded to your mothers phone which will allow you to monitor all of her online activity. She would not even know. Visit an apple store. They can explain all of this better than I ever could.
aj6044 Nov 2023
Not possible with medicaid hope waiver. no nursing home beds available. i'll check out the apps but she likes to delete apps she doesn't recognize.
MAYDAY Nov 2023
The people in la Verne should file a police report. They too are victims of fraud.
your mom is a victim of fraud. You should file a police report and check her credit.
Collect the checks and and see who she is conversing with on social media.
how else wiuld she deposit the checks?
There’s a scam.. and I would notify her bank.

aj6044 Jan 30, 2024
Update: no recent fake checks. i think it's because when I switched her to prepaid cards only she could no longer pay for any dating apps.
Llamalover47 Jan 31, 2024
aj6044: Thank you for your update.
MAYDAY Nov 2023
Gently make mom aware of people taking advantage of senior citizens.
i see more advertisements fans warnings about fraud and senior citizens asking for their security numbers.

Mrs. Smith, CONGRATULATIONS!!! You just won the lottery!!! Before we can mail you the check, we need your complete address, phone number, and your social security number so we can file the forms and inform the IRS for you so you don’t get fined.
And we need a clear copy if your government ID
and they may say something about direct deposit into the account which means they have her complete account info.
You may want to freeze her credit line etc..
Mom needs to learn that anyone can be anybody on the internet. Is there any kind of adult daycare she csn attend, Bingo?
Missymiss Nov 2023
She has dementia and won't understand or remember. I went through it with my mom. The only thing that stopped it was when I was able to place her in memory care and took control of her finances :(
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