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T
twizzler Asked November 2023

Will I be in violation of elder abuse if I leave my verbally abusive psychotic husband?

Geaton777 Nov 2023
You don't give any details so it's difficult to know exactly what to suggest to you...

If he verbally threatens you or had a psychhotic episode call 911. You do not need to endure that stress and if you don't have a viable way to get him into a facility, having him transported to the ER may be the beginning of an option. When there make sure the staff knows he is an "unsafe discharge" and be adamant that you are not willing/able to be his caregiver due to his abuse.

I'm assuming you're not his PoA? If so, then talk to a social worker at the hospital about keeping him there until he can be placed and the county becomes his guardian. Do NOT believe it if the hospital "promises" to help you once he's back at home -- this is not a sincere offer but only a way of getting him out of their hair. Make sure no one else goes to get him, either.

You shouldn't have to leave the house if it's your residence.

Beatty Nov 2023
If you mean leaving for the LONG term - Yes, you can end your marriage formally if you wish to. Or physically leave but stay married legally.

However, if you mean leaving for SHORT periods (say to run errands, visit friends) - this is very different.

It *could* be considered neglectful, but before you jump on that, consider if the husband has known dementia, cognitive impairement or disease. If the Wife is the main caregiver then she has Duty of Care. It is reasonable she take steps to avoid harm. It is reasonable to avoid leaving a vulnerable person home alone if they are unable to care for themself or use telephone appropriately to call for help.

This may include not leaving the Husband alone when he is suffering psychotic symptoms eg delusions, hallucinations that could cause him harm. This does NOT mean she must put up with abuse (verbal or otherwise). She may need to leave the room or area, supervise from a little distance or have someone else supervise.

If this verbal abuse & psychosis is frequent or ongoing &/ caregiver stress is too high, it's time for change.

Basically, if the situation is not working - change is needed.

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Midkid58 Nov 2023
Absolutely not.

But he could be in violation of elder abuse of his treatment of YOU becomes a
'known' factor.

If you feel threatened, leave. Call APS or even the police and have him taken out of the home if you can.

I hope you can create a village of people who care for you to help support you in this situation. And get a GOOD lawyer.

JoAnn29 Nov 2023
Is he a danger to you? If so call the Police and tell them ur afraid of him, he needs to be Baker acted. After he is evaluated refuse to take him back. If he lands in the Hospital for another reason, refuse to take him back saying your afraid of him.

See an elder lawyer about having assets split. Husbands split going towards his care and when gone Medicaid takes over. You remain in ur home, get one car, and get enough money from ur monthly income to live on. This is just the basics, the lawyer can explain better,

AlvaDeer Nov 2023
No, you won't.
However, if your husband is not mentally competent or safe to be alone, then it is necessary for you to let authorities know you are going, that he is alone, and that you feel your husband is a danger to himself and others. This will get wheels in motion. You can call APS as well to say you "HAVE TO" leave. Try not to give a whole lot of details about your leaving other than you "have to leave for my own safety".

As this is only verbal you do also have a right to file for legal separations with separation of finances with an attorney. He/she will give you further options for yourself.

If your husband has other family you might inform them when you leave.
I think you now need to concentrate on making yourself a list of things to do in your own mind and for your own protection and I wish you the very best of luck. Hope you'll update us.

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