Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
J
judy456 Asked November 17, 2023

Why is the nursing home staff questioning my financial care of my mom? She has dementia.

My family member has dementia and cannot handle money. She spends money fast and gives it away. She complained to you that she has no cash and now you call me at 5pm on a Friday and tell us you are investigating the way her money is handled? Before she came to your home more than 5 yrs. ago she was scammed out of $ 420,000.00. The person then took more.


She went through 100.00 in cash in 4 days this month alone and scammed a friend into buying her 200.00 worth of items, which she already had in her room. The staff at your nursing home should have met with our family and her doctor before creating an investigation into how her money is handled.

JoAnn29 Nov 18, 2023
How can se go get a snack. She should be in lockdown with Dementia.

judy456 Nov 18, 2023
I thought this was run by the company that just took over the Chartwell nursing home. Their name is Age Care. I now realize it is a talk forum, which I am very happy about. Joanne has had 6 strokes and has been in a home for 7 years. Her daughter has PA over health and finances. Joanne constantly wants money to go walking . She has always been bad with money. Letting a man scam her of 420,000 . She kept borrowing money on her house. She wants to walk to a snack bar up the street every day and eat. Her daughter has tried to give her a little money to use. Joanne just spends it right away then complains to the staff that she has no money. She only takes in and extra 250.00 a month more then the cost of the nursing home. She expects her daughter to keep her little fridge full of snacks and sandwich food. Nothing left over. The daughter is a single mother of 3 kids and just scraping through herself. Joanne tells anyone who will listen to her at the home that she has lots of money she does not and wants cash in her pocket. I was with Lisa the daughter when we started this blog. My name is Judy and I am Joanne,s cousin. I talk to her every day and have my name on her health records. It is always some new trouble with Joanne. The new social worker at the Home has listened to Joanne and her stories and has started an investigation into her finances. They had the gall to call Lisa and I at 5pm on a Friday to tell us this. We Lisa and I do not know what to do. Thank you for any help. Judy
AlvaDeer Nov 18, 2023
I think you are telling us that your Cousin (Joanne) has a daughter, Lisa, who is her POA? Lisa and you spend time together and Lisa is concerned.

It sounds like Lisa, as POA, is handling things. Sounds like Cousin Joanne is quite difficult, and at some point she will have to be told that she can have a spending allowance of so much, and when that is gone it is gone. Someone no longer competent to handle money due to the deficits of dementia needs protection for her own good.

Most ALF don't allow money to be around in client's rooms due to the risk, and this is a good excuse to use with explaining the new "facts of life" to your cousin.

Now you mention that someone is investigating the management of the your Aunt Joanne's money (by Lisa, her POA). You say you two don't know what to do.
Quite honestly, this isn't your problem, but if you are connected and a support to both Cousin Joanne and her daughter Lisa, you are trying to help.

Whoever is POA is LEGALLY LIABLE to keep meticulous records of money into and out of the accounts of an appointing principle (the mom). This is Lisa. If this has been done, then these records should be presented when asked for by the investigating authorities. If they are in order there will be no problem.

IF, however, no records have been kept, or they have been poorly kept, then the POA clearly has no understanding of her obligations under the law, and it would be likely that management of an incompetent (if she is) principle could be taken over by the State Courts with guardianship or conservatorship provided by the state.

I hope this helps. I hope you just sit tight with Lisa and await word of who would like to see her, when and where, and that Lisa brings her records at that time. Things will go on from there.

You will have to wait and see how the investigation goes on. Meanwhile gather all records that the POA has kept. Wishing you the best and hoping you will update us.

ADVERTISEMENT


AlvaDeer Nov 18, 2023
You cannot decide on your OWN to manage ANYONE'S money. Surely you understand that?

You cannot be in charge of your mother's finances UNTIL and unless you are her legal financial POA or guardian.
This will not happen until your mother is judged incompetent to act in her own behalf, which is a court action, OR your mother makes papers in an attorney's office asking that you be in charge of her finances.

If you ARE the POA and guardian you must keep meticulous records of ever single cent into and out of your principle's accounts. You should consult an attorney if an investigation is now opened.

If you have been accused of financial abuse know that is a very serious offense under the law, especially where an elder is concerned. You need to get all records out that you kept now

BurntCaregiver Nov 18, 2023
If your mother is in a nursing home she should have no access to money. If she is able to 'showtime' well enough for her friends to buy her stuff then that's on them not you.

It's none of the nursing home's business how your mother's money is handled. If their bill gets paid every month they have no business investigating anything. Talk to a lawyer about this.

I hope you also know that if you are her POA, conservator, guardian you under under NO OBLIGATION to allow the nursing home or anyone respresenting them access to her bank accounts or financial information.

Talk to whoever is her POA (I don't know if it's you). Transfer all of her money to new accounts. Do not allow her or anyone else to have access to them.
Pay her bills every month. The nursing home bill and any other bills that arise to cover her needs.

DO NOT allow the nursing home access to her funds. They will also very likely attempt at applying for conservatorship over her on the down-low behind your back. They are not even obligated to tell her family. Keep in touch with the probate court weekly to see if her name appears on their docket. This is the only way you'll even be informed that they're doing it.
Nursing homes sneak around like this because if the current POA, conservator, guardian doesn't show up they lose by default.
Stay on top of this.
anonymous1732518 Nov 18, 2023
Until the death of the resident, then they want them out ASAP
Geaton777 Nov 18, 2023
Yes, I agree that the staff should have reported their concerns (not accusations) to you first IF you're her FPoA. If you're not legally managing her finances, then it's possible that the facility is taking the right (and only) path available to them.

Does your family member have a medical diagnosis of cognitive impairment/memory loss? If not, it's possible a staff member with not enough experience and little working knowledge of what dementia and memory loss looks like in their residence was acting on what s/he saw. Not excusing it, but this also would need a discussion with the admins.

Grandma1954 Nov 18, 2023
this is a Forum of caregivers.
I would question how and why your mom is able to spends money fast and give it away. If you are supposed to care for her financial wellbeing you are legally responsible to control how her money is spent or distributed.

97yroldmom Nov 18, 2023
Judy
To whom are you addressing this post? This is a forum for family caregivers.
Perhaps you are just venting which is fine. Vent away.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter