How can I stop mom from micromanaging me?

Consider earplugs for at home.

The next time she does the backseat driving thing, stop the car. Tell her you won't start again until she stops the comments. If she starts again, tell her she will need to make other transportation arrangements, and stick to it.

Read the book Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud.

You don't have to, and shouldn't, put up with this behavior.

Your mom is 68.
You are raising your sister. (does your sister help out at all?)
Other than "mobility problems" what conditions does your mother have that she needs 24/7 care?
At 68 if this continues you might be caring for her for another 20 years!
If you are doing things for her that she can do for herself STOP!
Have you looked into Assisted Living for her? She would get help when she needed it.
If mom is cognizant when she gets on your case when driving tell her if she does not stop you pull the car over when it is safe and tell her to get in the back seat.
When she complains on your cleaning...hand her the dust cloth, the vacuum or the broom. Let her clean as best she can.
Let her take out the trash.

The main problem that I see here is that you are beyond burned out after 3 years of 24/7 caregiving for your mom and that you need and deserve a much needed break.
When someone is burned out and exhausted even the littlest of things can send us into a tizzy, and that is what's happening with you.
So the first thing that has to happen is that mom needs to hire some in home help(with her money of course)to give you the much needed time off to do things that you enjoy and so you can step away from the situation for a short time. You'll be amazed how just getting away for a few hours at a time can rejuvenate your soul and help you continue on this caregiving journey with your mom.
You will then be able to much better handle the petty little things she says and start enjoying your time with her.
So make sure that once some in home help is in place that you in fact are taking advantage of that and getting out with family and friends and doing things that bring you joy.
I believe that once you've made yourself a priority by taking better care of yourself that you'll better be able to handle whatever your mom throws your way.
Until then have a heart to heart conversation with your mom and remind her that you're doing the very best you can and that if she doesn't like the way you're doing things that it's either time for her to hire full time in-home help for herself(again with her money)or time for her to move into an assisted living facility. And mean it. Even though she's your mom you still must stand your ground and set your boundaries.
You must remember that someone can only "micromanage" you if you allow them to. So quit allowing it.

There is a psychological technique called "extinguishing" a behavior: you simply and absolutely ignore it as if she never said it. Change the subject, walk out of the room, turn up the car radio loud, etc.

If she doesn't have a cognitive problem she will eventually get the hint. If she does have a cognitive problem, then you will have successfully learned how to ignore her behavior and remember that it is her condition that is causing it.

Your profile only says she has mobility problems, which doesn't mean she needs a minder 24/7 unless she is a quadriplegic. Talk to a social worker for her county to see if she qualifies for any in-home services or transportation, etc. You need to force her to become at least semi-independent from you.

You can have a discussion with her that if she doesn't stop grinding you to a pulp that you'll look into facility care for her (which may be the best option in reality). Maybe that will wake her up. But don't make any threats you aren't ready and willing to carry out.

BetterHelp.com is affordable, accessible counseling with online therapists. Maybe consider talking to one who can help you find and defend strong boundaries so that you can make life-saving decisions in your complicated situation. I wish you all the best as you reclaim your life.

Mom is being ridiculous . Tell her if she’s not happy with how you do things she should hire someone else to take care of her . And tell Mom you need a break and to hire someone so you get respite and go out . Turn the tables on her. She needs your help , she needs to compromise . Your mom has too much to say , she’s taking it out on you. Her accident was not your fault . Has Mom been evaluated and treated for depression ?

I’m sorry that you are in this situation. Sadly, it is common thing among families who share a home life.

Even in the most loving relationships this behavior occurs. Too much togetherness is a recipe for disaster.

I went through what you are describing. It’s extremely difficult to deal with on a daily basis.

Our parents become set in their ways. They aren’t interested in doing things differently at this point in their lives.

We can tune them out or we can tell them that they are driving us nuts. Trust me, I did both!

What works for some people, doesn’t necessarily work for others. Caregiving is NEVER a ‘one size fits all’ kind of deal.

I am not going to repeat the advice already given to you by other posters. I will say that I have walked in your shoes and I feel your pain. Please try to schedule regular breaks. It will greatly help you and your mom cope easier.

Take care.

Find out how to say NO.

I watched my SIL direct her husband to reheat their kid's dinner in the microwave. Then proceed to micro-manage every step he took.

First time, he did it her way, resentment in his stance.

Next time I saw the same situation, he said I am doing this. So I am doing it MY way. If YOU want to do it your way - YOU do it.

He was a grown man. He knew how to use a microwave & read packet instructions.

Anxiety at giving over control.

I would say give control & choice to your Mother where you can. She may have lost so much.. keeping choices where she can may help.

Then you decide things where you need to. Eg which shirt do you want to wear today?
(How you wash the shirts will be your decision).

This is the set up and it is very unlikely to change. In fact, it is very likely to worsen considerably as mom fails more.

Gretchen Staebler has written a wonderful memoir about returning home to the PNW to care for her aging mother. She did this care for 5 years in home. Her mother died at 102. I recommend her book to you as the power and control struggle started on day one and honestly it never ended. It is not a sad book and is full of even some funny moments, but I doubt many would take on living together after reading it, and Gretchen had the help of two sisters, one who lived in the same town.

You have written a question really with no good answer, because these things don't change.

I read the home is yours. So what I would say is "Mom, my home I will do it my way. When u do it u can do it your way." My Mom was smart, she told us how to do something, then walked away. When I baked or cooked she left the kitchen when living home.