How do I help my mother with terminal agitation?

Final update: Mom took her last, soft breath while I was in her room. It was incredibly peaceful . I know I'm very lucky because it's not always that way.
Thank you to everybody who was supportive without judgment.
I feel incredible relief. Many people counseled me to not get involved in carrying for my mother, but I'm glad that I did.. It almost tore me up... but I fear I would have been more torn up by my regrets if I hadn't... In retrospect I did it just right. So did she.
Love to all on this journey who haven't reached an end yet.

UPDATE from me: The head nurse heard my concerns and instituted protocol to check every 2 hours ( even though I'm here, that helps); morphine every 4 and prn; Ativan; then Seroquel or Haldol if needed. She's also in oxygen via canula ( mask scares her so...no...) And that seemed to help.
Thank you to everyone in the forum now and over the past year. I've not embraced this caregiver role gracefully nor without a lot of resentment and frankly... prayers for her to die. You all gave me the freedom to express that without judgement. No one can understand unless they've been there.
Now that the time has come for me to be free, I feel true love for her... I realize I have swept out the dark corners of my childhood, this journey has been a recreation of every moment from infancy to young adulthood, a redoing of the past, and being present for her makes me understand there was a purpose in this all bigger than I knew at the time .
That said, I pray my caregiving days are over ( until husband... That's another story).
Thank you to everyone and I appreciate hearing all your suggestions and experiences as I really through this long night that could go on ..longer... For a week or more? Your words all help so much. ❤️❤️❤️

UPDATE 2: So we have the pain and agitation under control ...Thank you everybody for your input ...This forum has been so incredibly valuable to me. I'm sure you'll hear from me again soon with another issue but for now she is relatively comfortable.

wicki, I feel for you. Oh, that everyone would die peacefully with a smile on their face.

I spent most of the last week of my mom's life at her bedside. She never regained consciousness once they put her on "comfort care" At one point the doctor came in and said "you know she doesn't know you're here" I said, I'm doing this for me now. He put his hand on my shoulder and left.

I'd like to think she knew I was there even though the doc didn't think so. At one point I thought maybe her spirit had already left her body and was maybe sitting beside me. Stupid thought probably but your mind plays tricks on you.

Stay if you need to but take care of yourself. I wish there were something I could say that would make this easier for you right now but just know that once this is over given time you'll remember her as she was and not how she is right now.

God Bless you.

HEAVY MEDICATION is how to help.
Terminal agitation is a normal, albeit very distressing stage of dyingthe norm. The organs begin to shut down and this is one of the stages in which the electrolytes are so messed up that the body system is basically a toxic stew. This is normal and it is expected and I thank goodness she is on hospice where it can be treated.

Please discuss with the hospice nurse.
Also look up information online about this stage.

This is dreadful to have to watch. In her excellent handbook about VSED self-deliverance the author explains the stages of dying. The best hope during this stage is heavy sedation. (The VSED Handbook by Kate Christie.) It is chaotic confusion and agitation in which the body is completely out of control. This is the stage close to the end, and again, the answer is heavy sedation now. Your loved one doesn't need to be awake to comfort you. She needs instead to be medicated below the state of dreaming.

I am so sorry for your loss. Few people are told so clearly as they should be what the normal stages in dying are, and this can be a shock. Speak with your hospice RN and Social Worker about this stage of dying. My heart goes out to you. This is shattering to witness. Keep medicating through this stage which may last one to four days.

I experienced terminal agitation with my mom. She was peaceful until the last day. Hospice had not even had time to deliver the comfort kit. She became agitated in the morning and ask me “am I dying”? I said yes and it was horrible for a few hours. Music, talking…nothing helped. She was holding on to the bed rails like it would keep her on earth. The comfort kit arrived about 7:00, the morphine and Ativan helped and she died one hour later,

I prayed for a peaceful ending. It was not. But, she did not suffer long. The meds helped calm her down and helped her breath easier,

A huge hug to you! You are in my prayers.

UPDATE 3: Okay so they now agreed to morphine every 1 to 2 hours... And all I've done this past year is post about how I couldn't wait for this to be over, and all my resentment about caregiving, waiting for her to die... But still showing up every day even giving up my job and moving out to take care of her...
and now I feel so devastated. I hope I don't give myself grief for all the times I got angry about showing up for her. I have to remember I'm human; just the way she is human and how she reacted when things didn't go her way because she could no longer manage them herself and she was constantly complaining. But now in retrospect I'm so glad I did this.

UPDATE 7: she's very peaceful now...meds managed well now, morphine and Ativan, deep sedation.
Perhaps in my last post I didn't express myself well.
I was simply conveying the pain of watching someone die. The process is sad.
To those who have been supporting thank you so much.
I don't need any more suggestions.. Just support. Thank you.
She's in a beautiful, homelike facility with friends and staff who love her. In her hometown of 55 years. They let me sleep in her room.
But the dying process sucks.

Honestly the only way you can help(other than being there)is by making sure that hospice is providing your mom the morphine, Ativan and I would also request Haldol as well, in a timely manner.
My late husband had a lot of agitation at the end of his life along with extreme pain that hospice couldn't get under control, and it was truly horrifying to witness as everyone that I had seen die up to that point had been a fairly peaceful crossing over.
And I guess the fact that he was in our home and I was with him 24/7 didn't help matters either, as I couldn't get away from it. Nor did I want to as I wanted him to know that I would be with him until the end. I just hate that his crossing over seemed more traumatic than others I had witnessed.
But he is at peace now with his Lord and Savior and for that I am grateful.
So hang in there. There is light at the end of this tunnel, and you will come out at the other end a stronger and more compassionate person than you were going in.
May God bless you and keep you.

Wicki,
KEEP THAT HOSPICE NURSE ON SPEED DIAL
Thank you for updating us.
We are thinking of you.
Be the squeaky wheel; it gets the oil.