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Windy2022 Asked December 12, 2023

What to do with father that’s been evicted?

Please see my previous posts about my relationship and situation. I have pretty much gone no contact with my father and am still waiting for a hearing date to be set for the state to take guardianship.
He has an eviction hearing on Thursday and will most likely be evicted very soon from his apartment for overstaying. He was on a month to month and they gave him a 30 day notice because he is causing so many problems and they want him out.
Is it likely that the sheriff will take him to a shelter or call APS or crisis when they go to evict him?
I have called APS again to inform them of what is going on. They’ve done nothing that I know of except send police for a welfare check.
I am wondering what to do if he shows up to my office once he’s evicted (he doesn’t know where I live). He is not driving but he knows the name of my business, so I am worried he will have someone bring him there.
He did this a couple of years ago when he became homeless and was living in his car. I ended up helping him at that time and finding the apartment he currently lives in.
But I cannot do this again.

Fawnby Dec 12, 2023
I remember when relatives used to buy people a bus ticket out of town. Not in my family, but one I knew well, one uncle would show up at siblings’ houses drunk and having been evicted. They passed him around for years until he died of something related to alcoholism.

Always a sad story.
NeedHelpWithMom Dec 12, 2023
My dad had an old military buddy who showed up on our doorstep when I was a young girl. Everyone’s name and addresses were in phone books back then so it wasn’t hard to find someone.

He told my dad that he needed a place to stay for a few days. My dad said that he could sleep on our couch for a few nights.

We only had one bathroom and one afternoon he forgot to lock the door. I walked in on him while he was drinking. He gave me a quarter and told me not to tell my parents.

My mom saw me playing with my shiny quarter and asked me where I got it. I told her that I got it from daddy’s friend who told me not to tell her that he was drinking in the bathroom. LOL 😆

Mom spoke to my father that evening. I saw daddy giving him a few dollars and he went on his merry way. I bet my father gave him money to take a bus trip to who knows where.
NeedHelpWithMom Dec 12, 2023
My oldest brother who died in 2013 wanted to live with us. He ended up becoming homeless for a while. He didn’t even have a car to sleep in.

I had to cut my brother out of my life. I tried helping him in the past and he would be okay for a while but it never lasted.

My brother contacted my mom and asked to move in with us. I said no.

I feel for you. I lived in fear of my brother showing up. My answer would not have changed no matter what he said to me.

Stay strong, Windy. Wishing you peace during this difficult time.
Windy2022 Dec 13, 2023
Even though you know what your response will be, it’s still anxiety inducing having an ill person show up unannounced expecting you to take them in, isn’t it?
My father did this in 2010. He did call first but was desperate for a place to stay. I obliged. He did nothing but complain and talk bad about me and my husband to my sister the whole 3 weeks he was there. And one day, he just left. Didn’t even say goodbye. Didn’t hear from him for over 6 months.
He had the nerve to ask me multiple times over the years after that. But I always said absolutely not.
But then he showed up to my work early last year in a bad state. He’d been staying at hotels and got tired of paying the money for them. Then he was living in his car and when he got tired of that, he used me as a resource.

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MeDolly Dec 12, 2023
This will take time, the court system moves very slowly when it comes to evictions. 90-120 days in my neck of the woods.

I agree with Barb, use this form of interchange with the police.

Basically do nothing sit and wait to see what happens. Respond as appropriate.

Good Luck!

BarbBrooklyn Dec 12, 2023
Windy, if he shows up, call 911. Have one of the OTHER folks in your office hand this typed communication to the responding officers:

1. (Name) is harassing one of the employees of this business.

2. (Name) has been diagnosed with dementia and mental illness.

3. There is an open APS case and a state guardianship hearing is scheduled shortly.

4. We understand that (name) has been evicted for creating disturbances at his place of residence.

Has a guardian ad litem been appointed?
Windy2022 Dec 12, 2023
Thanks Barb. Yes, the attorney met with him last week and we are waiting for her to submit her answer to the court. I thought this had to be done in 20 days of service but we are at almost 30 days now.
Grandma1954 Dec 12, 2023
It will still take a while for the court to evict him, they have to give him time. The landlord can not toss his belongings out. When the belongings go out there should be a sheriff there as well.
If he shows up at your office if you have Security call them and let them handle the situation.
If you do have security in your building let them know that he may show up. If you can provide a photo all the better.
You could try getting a restraining order so that if he does show up the police can handle it.

I just saw your reply that you do not have security in your office. Keep your cell handy call 911 if he shows up.
(and if you know if he has any weapons let the dispatcher know...just in case)

BarbBrooklyn Dec 12, 2023
If he shows up at your office, call Security and let them deal with it.

You do not need to be involved.
olddude Dec 12, 2023
Perfect answer. This is so not her problem.
AlvaDeer Dec 12, 2023
Stay OUT of this. You keep interferring but then are upset when the state refuses to take guardianship. They will not take guardianship as long as you are there doing things. You need to let this take its course. Let them know you cannot deal with him, you are not POA and are not guardianship and that you ALREADY HAVE A CASE BEFORE THE COURT seeking his guardianship by the state.
Then it is UP TO THEM.
Stop making it up to you.
Pretend this man never had children.
LEAVE THIS to your state.
Windy2022 Dec 12, 2023
Alva, I’m not interfering any longer. I do not want to deal with this anymore. I cut ties with him and have not spoken in 2 weeks.
I do not want to have to deal with a situation in which he shows up to my place of business.
We don’t have security and the police will only remove him for him to come back again (I’ve dealt with this with a disgruntled former employee recently).
Since no agencies will help, I am looking for what resources to use to handle this when it happens if it does before the court hearing.
I don’t think locking the door in the middle of winter and hoping that a man with dementia and mental problems will just go away.
Geaton777 Dec 12, 2023
I would consider talking to the landlord and explaining that the hearing is really close and you've done everything possible at your end to alert APS and to please let him stay a little longer. Because there's currently no guardian and he is a sovereign adult, I doubt the cops/Sheriff will do anything unless he actually breaks a criminal (not civil) law.

You can consider calling a shelter to see if they have any advice. Many shelters book up very quickly. Is there a Salvation Army in your area? Consider talking to someone there to get some advice and see if there's any room.

If he shows up at your work and refuses to leave, then call the cops but they will just remove him from the premises, not take him to a shelter. But if your Dad is acting weird, they may call the EMTs to have him taken to an ER or psych ward for holding and assessment. I'm so sorry you are struggling with this situation.

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