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Mrslala541 Asked December 19, 2023

Christmas gifts? Mom is in memory care, dad in AL.

Hi all, I thought I’d lean on the group and their experience. Can you guys suggest some gifts that would be useful, appropriate, or logistically ok for people in AL? What do you get someone who has very limited space and all the upgraded basics already? I made a photo book for mom and thinking about making a sweatshirt for dad. But I need more ideas. Thanks and happy holidays all!!

Geaton777 Dec 19, 2023
My MIL is in LTC and not very able to move around or reach for things in bed so we call her to plan an eat-in meal together with her. She gets to decide what we bring, no matter what she asks for. Even leaving treats in a tin on her rolling lap table - she doesn't see it or remember that it's there for her.

I didn't think of it in time this year, but thinking next year I'll do a mini Advent thing where I put little treats (or something) in 10 or 14 wrapped boxes and have the staff help her open one a day up until we come see her at Christmas.
NeedHelpWithMom Dec 19, 2023
I love advent calendars with treats. I did this with my children when they were young.
olddude Dec 19, 2023
Don't bother with stuff. They have limited space and they don't need more clutter. I would go with food, either taking them out to eat, or better yet, bringing some food into the facility If you bring food in, you may have to bring enough for everybody, but it's Christmas so what the hey.

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ArtistDaughter Dec 19, 2023
Alzheimer's Store. I noticed my mom was responding to dolls and stuffed animals. I got her a battery operated dog that barked, wagged its tail, and whined. She absolutely loved it. One day she said there was something wrong with her dog, that she was starting to think it wasn't real. That was after 6 months of treating it as real and even trying to feed it.
lkdrymom Dec 24, 2023
I did the same with my grandmother. She loved the stuffed cat I got her. When my coworkers mom moved to a NH I suggested she get her a stuffed dog that looked like the one she had. She loved it and thought it was the real "Coco".
Daughterof1930 Dec 19, 2023
When mom was in NH, the laundry was efficient but undeniably commercial and hard on clothing, so we used holidays to replace clothing. Aunt in memory care loved any kind of picture book, like the large coffee table kind with nature photos. She’d go through them over and over again. And snacks and baked goods to share with the staff is always appreciated

Lov2teach Dec 24, 2023
We have a digital picture frame on a shelf at the end of my mom’s bed that rotates family pictures. We can add or delete pictures. My mother is bedridden and in memory care. The revolving pictures in the picture frame have been a topic of conversation for her and caregivers as well as visitors. She rarely looks at the TV when it’s on but looks at the pictures on the digital frame constantly. Also, we got her an Echo Show to put at the foot of the bed on the shelf. We have one in our home also and they’re connected so we can drop in on her and “FaceTime”. She is no longer able to use a phone. This has also been a lifesaver. This year, I’m giving her new fluffy socks and a pretty fleece blanket.

NeedHelpWithMom Dec 19, 2023
I agree with Olddude. Bring them something yummy to eat!

The only other thing that I can think of is photos of your family, either in an album or framed to place on their wall or nightstand.

Febyshe Dec 24, 2023
All of these suggestions are great! We always get my mama a couple new pairs of warm and fuzzy fleece pajamas (pants and shirt) they help keep her warm since she’s always cold. This year I got her a warm and furry blanket to keep on her bed. And she loves candy treats around Christmas so I buy a bunch of different ones for her. She’s currently semi-bedridden in a rehab/nursing home and doesn’t have room for many items.

Sooner51 Dec 24, 2023
I made a mother wall photo collage of family photos from early girlhood to the present...She loved it....Cost is minimal and memories are wonderful...

97yroldmom Dec 24, 2023
I’m afraid I’ve gotten into a rut. I do my DH aunts laundry so I buy her pretty sheets, blankets, pjs for almost every occasion. Whatever needs freshening or is seasonal. Also socks and perfume. She is bed bound and doesn’t communicate much but she likes pretty things and it gives her caregivers something to compliment her on.
She really likes sweets, chocolate covered cherries are a big fave each Christmas. DH makes her fudge. Sometimes for a treat he takes her tamales.
I’ve gotten some good ideas from everyone. I’m going to try to sharpen my game for 2024.
I remember buying my grannie little windup mechanical dogs that would bark and turn flips.
My dad enjoyed playing dominoes or cards. if we were lucky we got a story or two from him in return.

I read the most popular gift this year in general is socks. My mom was a big socks and underwear giver. One year she made all her grands western shirts. What a shocker.

One of my nieces goes once a week to visit two women in their 90s in a ALF. She meets one of their daughters there and they play the domino game “Train”. They have a great time.

I hope everyone has a nice holiday with their elders.

janicemeyer18 Dec 24, 2023
Your presence, love and time spent with them = best gift.
Share memories, perhaps photos of other years growing up etc.
All "tangible" gifts need of course to be safety compliant relevant based on their diagnosis. For ALF, perhaps something he would enjoy, clothing etc or something based on his current interests. For memory care perhaps a new soft blanket ...
Always confer with facility for gift guidelines.

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