I need advice on how to remove my brother from my moms bank account .. He took my mom to the bank and some how convinced her to add him while my mom is incompetent with Alzheimer's and dementia ..we don't even know if he has POA and its been over 5+ years he's had her money and never gives her any not even for food nor toilet trees nor does he to see if she needs anything or to help with bills. He doesn't call nor visits her anymore. I don't know what to do...
10 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
My friend contacted an attorney and an investigation was done. The cousin was ordered to pay back all of the money. It became very ugly but justice prevailed for my friend’s aunt.
ADVERTISEMENT
And now you want to address this?
And you don't know if he has POA?
I have to say I am at a loss.
It seems too late now to address this, because this was done FIVE YEARS ago and you cannot know what your mother's wishes and choices were at that time.
You don't even tell us where mother is living. Alone? In care? With family?
I will advise you to see an elder law attorney taking all facts and proof with you.
You can also call APS and tell them this story, but you better have your facts and your proof of all of this lined up for them so they can open a case.
I agree with Willie. POA is not recognized by Social Security. I think I may invest in a Social Security lawyer. What your brother is doing is fraud and abuse. No one is entitled to SS funds but the person who earned them. They must be spent on Mom. A lawyer can help you get payee and then have SS go after brother to pay back any money he has stolen. If you can't afford a lawyer then go for payee based on Mom having Dementia and you need to help her pay bills. Do not bring up brothers abuse because then SS will stop Moms money until they investigate. Once you get payee, tell them you are changing her bank acct and give them the new info.
"Question
I am the sole agent under my mother's durable power of attorney for finances. One of my brothers is demanding that I give him all kinds of details on the financial transactions I do for her. I believe it is because he does not trust me and wants to give me a hard time. Do I have to give him this information?
Answer
To know whether you are legally required to provide financial reports to anyone, including your brother, turn to the power of attorney document itself. >> You do not have to make reports unless the document explicitly requires it. If the document is silent on the matter, your brother is out of luck unless you choose to share information with him. << "
This includes the question of who is the Mom's PoA.
I don't think a PoA is under any obligation to "prove" their agency (aka "give information") to just anyone who asks -- because it's the Mom's business and no one else's -- unless it is specifically written into the document by the principle. I've done all sorts of browser searches and have been reading posts on this forum regarding this issue since 2019 and no one has ever said they got the agent to disclose their document to show proof to someone (a private individual) just because they want to know.
If the OP asks the brother to show the document and he ignores her or says no, then she still has to go to an attorney anyway if she wants to force him to show it.
Technically a PoA is not obligated to produce the paperwork as proof to others (unless you're a judge). One thing you can do is to have an elder law attorney (who specializes in financial abuse) write a letter to your brother demanding to show proof of PoA or else it will go to court where he will definitely be forced to produce it. At this time you can discuss with this attorney what to do if your brother isn't actually her PoA but is suspected of financially abusing her.
Also, your profile says your Mom has dementia and is living at home. Does anyone live with her? If she's your only source of information regarding her finances, please know that her info may not be accurate. She may sincerely believe she's telling you reliable information but may not be. This happens all the time in seniors with cognitive & memory impairment. Before you go to an attorney (if you do) you need to go with her to her bank to ask a service rep to see a bank statement for activity. Not sure they'll let you but with her present, they might.
Who is caring for your mom? Who is paying for her needs? Does she live alone? She may eventually need to be placed in a facility. How long ago was she diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease?
How have you addressed this issue with your brother? Does your brother have any type of relationship with her? What was their relationship before she had Alzheimer’s disease? How many siblings are there in your family?
Does your brother have a job or is he freeloading off of your mom? When was the last time that he saw your mom? Does he live close by? Does your brother have a relationship with anyone in the family?
Have you spoken with an attorney about this situation?
Please give us background information on your family so we can have a clearer picture of what is going on.