I'm providing live-in help for stubborn male friend. No help, just myself. I feel he has become unreasonable.

Helping him keep the house and property taken care of was not as stressful and draining at first, as he was in better shape physically and mentally. He was also more independent, nice and caring as a friend. Since his wife died, he seems to not know how to cook anything other than frying eggs, making stove top stuffing or eating soup cold right out of the can (rather than heating it on the stove in a saucepan). I would make lunch or dinner, as he made himself breakfast.

Fast forward to early 2022. His physical shape has declined to where his knees are really making it hard to walk without a cane and difficult to climb stairs without being on his hands and knees. He had been putting off getting his knees replaced for so many years. Started to also notice that his personal hygiene, which was not very good in the first place, has become worse. He kept taking 4 cans of beer to bed every night (which I read can be deadly, as he takes sleeping pills). He claims the beer helps him sleep. It was clear he was dependent on alcohol.

His condition got worse over the next few months and he became even less active and when he went to his surgeon for knee replacement, he was advised that he needed to get up and walk more to strengthen his legs for a better outcome after surgery. He didn't, and despite my encouraging efforts, he made every excuse he could think of and not put in much effort. He continued to decline and his huffing gait got worse. In November 2022 he tripped outside on the walkway and fell, breaking his hip. He was advised to do PT in a rehab for 3 weeks, which he stubbornly declined.

2 weeks later he is back home, in a hospital bed he rented so he could recover at home. Home healthcare came out 2-3 times per week to have him do PT. He was advised to do PT 4 times per day, every day. Again, little effort and less than he was supposed to do. He would make up fibs to convince me and family and friends that he did exactly as he was told. He would sit on his bed and sulk most of the day or sleep, instead of PT. I had already stepped up and made 3 meals per day and helped him by doing errand for groceries and such.

I am physically unable to assist him if he ever fell, as he weighs 220lbs and 6' tall. A CNA came out to assist with in the shower. On the walker, he was able go to the toilet himself.

March 2023 he was able to get his left knee replaced. PT continued, and his hygiene and mental condition declined. He would not let me help him so there were times I had to remind him if he forgot take care of himself. I'm getting more stressed and drained for I was now working 7 days a week to assist him with his daily needs. There are a lot Left times where I had to remind him that he needed to change his clothes or shower because I could smell his body odor.

As I mentioned earlier I am unable to physically lift him so toilet assistance or bathing is out of the question. On top of that he has promised me that he would make sure I would never have to do that because he can, "take care of himself."

Ever since, it has been a steady decline of his physical and mental condition. I finally convinced him to let me go to his doctor's with him late September. We went to his appointment. The doctor told him right in front of me that he needs to walk more and exercise his brain with games and puzzles, which I offered to buy for him to help. He insisted that he walks enough (he's sitting or lying down more than walking). He doesn't want to do any puzzles, as he claims that he hates them and uses his brain enough with his business. I continue working for him. I cook and clean every day. I make him enough food for left overs that he can easily heat up in the microwave.