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fullsailale Asked December 23, 2023

Is there a point when the dementia patient stops resisting everything?

Gypsynurse Dec 24, 2023
I'm so sorry your having to deal with this. In my experience it only gets worse with time unless medication is introduced. Even that can be iffy. The only time it gets better is when they are at the very end. Bless both of you, it's so difficult to deal with. Reach out for help for both of you is my best advice.

Geaton777 Dec 24, 2023
I think it's different for everyone.

My Aunt had dementia for 12-ish years before she fell and broke her hip at 100, passing away shortly after that. She kept insisting on getting out of bed when she couldn't really walk unassisted. She wouldn't keep in IV in while in the hospital. She never went in for a shower without some resistance even though the same person was helping her and the routine was the same for years. She resisted shutting the tv off at night and going to bed but was always happier once she was in bed. She was on meds for anxiety and agitation and was helped by 2 to 3 of her very familiar nieces. There are engagement strategies that can minimize resistance but it just depends on the person. Watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube for ideas.

Dementia causes a person to lose all their reason and logic, and therefore judgement, and memory (so they can't learn or retain anything new and are forgetting what is currently in their memory). They lose their ability to have empathy for others. Everything about dementia sucks.

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funkygrandma59 Dec 24, 2023
Is your wife resisting things because she thinks she can still do these things herself? And if so, have you tried letting her try and do for herself?
Your wife is very young to be suffering from dementia, so I am guessing it's early onset Alzheimer's which as you know can go on for 20 years, so you really want her to do as much as she can for herself as there will come a time when she won't be able to do much.
I hope that you have some help and are taking time away just for yourself as you will need that to continue on this journey with your wife.
And I also hope that your city has an Adult Daycare Center that your wife can go to at least 2 days a week, as they do a great job with folks with any of the dementias(and it will give you time for yourself). You can bring someone there up to 5 days a week and up to 8 hours a day. They serve the folks breakfast, lunch and a snack and offer all kinds of activities to keep everyone occupied. Of course there is a cost, but it's worth every penny. And if money is an issue, they do offer some assistance with that as well.
Like already said, everyone's dementia journey is different, so just reassure your wife that you're in it for the long haul and that you're not going anywhere.
May God bless you and your wife as you take this journey together.

lealonnie1 Dec 23, 2023
My mother stopped resisting/arguing/fighting when she was in the advanced/late stage of dementia about 6 months before she passed, maybe less. Ativan calmed down her anxiety and aggressive insistence on riding the subway to go see her (deceased) parents and siblings. She was 95 at the time and had been suffering from vascular dementia for 6 years.

NeedHelpWithMom Dec 23, 2023
I just read your profile. Your wife is relatively young, 69. You’re retired and devote all of your time to her.

You sound like a very sweet man. I do hope that you have some time for yourself too. Do you have any outside help?

There really is no way to answer your question. Dementia isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ sort of thing.

I would do as Alva suggests, speak with your wife’s doctor about any particular behavior issues to see if medication might be helpful.

Wishing you peace as you continue your caregiving journey.

AlvaDeer Dec 23, 2023
There is no predicting this.
Every case of dementia is as individual as the person's own fingerprint.
You might discuss the loved one you are speaking of with the doctor, and see if there is any medication that may help a bit.
Just so sorry you are going through this.

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