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Jaymac Asked December 28, 2023

Would love advice/encouragement from caregivers now that I'm a patient on Hospice.

I'm a 68 YO widow in Oregon, having lived with stage 4 ovarian cancer for almost 2 years. Did all treatment and about to start chemo again, but my body said nope. No energy, not hungry, just want to sleep.


Have 2 daughters in town by and a son in Chicago. All 3 are helping arrange hospice care and personal care 20 hrs a week. Have all my affairs in order, with legal heath POA and financial POA once I'm no longer able to make decisions. Will's all set too.


Just retired at end of July from full-time career as financial analyst. Very proud that I have everything lined up to help my kids through this journey.I've been reading this forum for months to help make my decisions- you all have great advice!

AlvaDeer Dec 28, 2023
Jaymac,
So sorry you are facing this journey now. You have every right to be so proud of all the decisions you have made for yourself, and your kids will be and this will ease things enormously for you. Reassure them that once gone they should celebrate the beauty of your life, and take comfort and relief that they no longer have to be afraid of what other things you have to face down.
Hope you will keep us updated how things are for you.
Am thinking of you. You're very brave, smart and the absolute best kind of mom, the kind that tries always to protect her kids.

Fawnby Dec 28, 2023
I'm very sorry for your situation. It's good that you have helpful children and that you can count on them....some aren't so fortunate. The way you've handled your affairs is impressive, and I'm in the process of doing those things now. Almost done, and my children appreciate it so much (as I am sure yours do).

I wish you peace on this part of your journey, and I hope you will continue to post so we can let you know we care. Hugs and best wishes to you.

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lealonnie1 Dec 28, 2023
I'm sorry you're facing such a situation, yet doing so with courage and grace. It's a wonderful thing that you've set your affairs in order so your beloved children don't have any added burdens on them.

I am doing the same for my husband and children, with stage 4 melanoma myself. Although there's no evidence of disease in my body right now, who knows what tomorrow brings. My body said nope to immunotherapy too, so my options are few when the cancer does return.

Wishing you the ability to live in the Now, and free from pain and suffering, dear friend. Each day here is a gift, I've learned, so I hope you have enjoyable days ahead.

BarbBrooklyn Dec 28, 2023
Jaymac, welcome!

I think you can be proud to have settled your affairs--I'm sure your children are grateful for your organizational skills.

I'm so sorry for your dreadful diagnosis and wish you peace and resolve for the New Year. ((((Hugs))))

Dawn88 Dec 28, 2023
I'm sorry for your situation beyond words. You are one brave lady.

ArtistDaughter Dec 28, 2023
It's going to help so much to have the practical things in order, so this journey can be peaceful with your children and Hospice to help and guide you. You are a wonderful example of light and love for all.

PeggySue2020 Dec 28, 2023
I’m very sorry.

PeggySue2020 Dec 28, 2023
Have you or your taken advantage of their chaplain? You don’t have to be religious at all. I wish I had even known about it before my dad died.

MeDolly Dec 28, 2023
I am so very sorry to hear this. Am glad that you have your children's support.

I wish you peace during this difficult journey.

Sending hugs to you,

Daughterof1930 Dec 28, 2023
How wise you are in doing the planning and learning for your next steps! Your adult children are very blessed to have you as their mother! My dad was treated with great kindness and compassion by his hospice team, and I certainly wish you the same. Enjoy any and every thing that you feel up to doing, I wish you peace in the journey

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