I've been the sole caregiver for my 79 year old husband who survived a serious stroke 3 years ago. He's paralyzed on his left side and is unable to transfer from bed to wheelchair etc without help. He needs assistance with all of the ADL's. I want to keep my husband at home as long as possible.
I recently decided to hire a part-time caregiver through an agency. (I don't want to hire someone myself directly and deal with employee taxes etc.)
The first agency we tried sent us a totally unsuitable caregiver who was unable to do the basics of caregiving. He was unable to function or learn....he had short term memory problems, possibly was Dyslexic or Autistic. (I discussed him in this forum recently, and I got great advice from you about how to assess and handle that situation. Thank you.)
The second agency that we used selected a caregiver for us that they assured us was suitable to handle my husband's required level of care. He quit the agency the day before he was due to start at our home. A no show.
The third caregiver that was selected for us came today for the first time. The first thing she said to us was "We'll get along just fine. The only people I can't stand to work with are Jews from New York." I told her to leave our home. I called the agency and told them that discrimination won't be tolerated, and what the hell kind of people are they hiring? Profuse apologies from the agency, "our employees are trained not to discriminate".
Are these the typical kinds of experiences that other people are going through while trying to hire a capable caregiver? I'm screening the agencies' reputation as well as I can beforehand and carefully describing the qualifications of the caregiver that I'll need as much as I can, but I'm still having Really Bad Outcomes. The process of finding a qualified and decent caregiver is starting to feel traumatic.
Please advise, and please let me know if this is the typical hiring experience people go through to find a good caregiver.
Thanks and Happy New Year.
8 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
But I think there is one potential big difference - if and when you find the right caregiver , then much of your frustration will be over and you can relax a bit knowing you have the right care in place ! (Unless they eventually move or resign . Then you have to repeat the process )
if you are the hands on caregiver yourself , I would assume the level of frustration continues day by day, doenst let up.
hang in there and keep trying to find the right care giver !
Thanks for explaining, I appreciate your comment. I'm definitely not a bot, btw. :-)
I apologise too. I'm just feeling a bit frantic about things right now. Feeling alone and trying to navigate what feels like the impossible and meanwhile being corrected for where I'm placing my posts on this forum.
I'll be fine soon.
ADVERTISEMENT
Come to find out, I was kind of unusual in that. The turnover rate was in the high 80's and when I went to any kind of 'all hands' meeting, I was astonished by how many 'new' people were there.
Elder Care is brutal and exhausting, physically and mentally. Most agencies simply don't pay well enough and in my case--there was absolutely NO impetus to try harder to be better. It was all about cost containment with the owners.
I only stayed b/c my clients arranged through my employer to tip me out so that I was making a decent wage.
It's sad and I don't think it has changed much in the 15 years since I quit.
Thanks for relating your caregiver career frustrations. You sound like a wonderful caregiver. Say, you don't happen to live in SW Florida, do you? Because I'm hiring! I would pay you well!
Not kidding!!! Let me know.
Thank you.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/i-need-advice-about-my-agency-caregiver-and-common-caregiver-practices-484781.htm?orderby=recent
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/whats-the-most-kind-and-gentle-way-to-fire-your-caregiver-484841.htm?orderby=recent
You receive many responses and much good guidance, so maybe consider reviewing those threads.
Thanks for pointing out my similar recent posts and for suggesting that I re-read the advice that I got. Sure, will do.
I will also go through all the AgingCare Forum "Care Topics" to see if there are other specific Care Topics subjects that I should instead post on for requesting caregiver general reassurance, support and venting in regard to my current situation. ...(Or would more Forum readers insist that those new posts "should" belong on my prior two posts? And that my new questions are redundant in their opinion? Will I need to make up some other entirely different problem that I'm not actually having, just to get caregiver general support? There must be some kind of Forum Police that is monitoring my posts to gauge exactly where they belong.)
I appreciate all the replies to all my posts and I consider each comment seriously. I've followed advice that's been given to me on this Forum.
Apologies for being snarky. Obviously my ativan hasn't kicked in yet! :-)
With caregivers, it's the same as with finding a mate, I think: you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. Sad but true. Good character is hard to find these days.
Keep having the agency send em over.....sooner or later you'll hit on a winner.
Good luck.
Thanks for the wise words and for all your encouragement. Ha - kisses, frogs, caregivers - great.
Much appreciated and Happy New Year!
Thank you.
As we have discussed so often on this Forum, the pay is not good for caregivers. And a lot is expected of them on the job. Poor pay just doesn't attract the best people I am thinking. It is a problem anywhere caregivers are hired, and a common problem for certain.
If you have now spoken to this second agency they hopefully understand they can't send in sub-par people. But this is definitely an ongoing problem.
The alternate plan had been to have him go home with 24/7 care from an agency. Now that I hear your story, I'm glad I did NOT do that! I would also be hesitant about going privately, although you might stumble on someone good, but it may take some trial and error, and then as you said, having to deal with taxes etc, and risk of them quitting at any minute with no backup. With the right agency and trying out a few, you might luckily stumble on a good match..?
Thanks for sharing your experience with finding an adequate caregiver for your father. Sounds like you had the fortitude to keep looking and finally lucked out with a good caregiver. I'll keep trying!
I guess finding a good caregiver is almost as frustrating as being a caregiver, or equally as frustrating as dealing with any aspect of healthcare these days. Argh!