My mother is 84 years old and currently living at home. She has dementia and mental illness (bipolar and / or personality disorder). She has a caregiver who visits her a few hours 4 days a week. However, the caregiver is resigning because she can't handle my mother's behaviors (outbursts, mood swings, threats, and anger). She hasn't been physical, but the caregiver gets very uncomfortable and scared when my mother has her outbursts. We are looking at Memory Care facilities because we feel no inhome care service will be able to handle my mother. This is the second caregiver who quits (the poor thing lasted 2 years). We are in the process of activating the POA. How can we make the transition to a facility easier for everyone? She will not go without a fight.
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The MC is used to adjustment problems. But they may require assessment and medication.
If you have the right given Mom's diagnosis as having dementia severe enough to make her incompetent, then this is just "done". It is just explained that this is how it must be, will be, and that you will be there for her to adjust.
She will likely require transportation by ambulance. Do not expect that it will go without rage/tears or both.
You need to be honest about your mother's current diagnoses, and I hope that the MC facilities will be honest with you, because the underlying mental illnesses may preclude your mother being in care with others without medications.
I wish you the best. This is a journey that is full of unpredictability. Expect the unexpected and try to take it a day at a time. I am so sorry for all involved.
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If she isn't compliant, then the next time she makes threats call 911. Make sure you're there when they arrive. Have your PoA paperwork on hand. Let them know she is off her meds (or whatever gets them to take her to the ER, like she may have a UTI and you can't get her to the Urgent Care). She will most likely go into a hold or the psych unit of the hospital, where she may be able to stay for a while until you can work with the hospital discharge to transfer her directly into a facility. Whatever you do, do NOT allow them to discharge her back to her home. Tell them she's an unsafe discharge and there's no one there to care for her and she's non-compliant with her meds. Make sure no one else goes to get her (maybe take away her phone so that she can't call anyone... this is what my sneaky SFIL did and made such a headache for us).