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DeeDeeW Asked January 4, 2024

Husband in nursing home. I’m in another state.

Husband has late stage dementia and is in Nursing home in Texas. I had to move in with my daughter in Alabama. Could not afford an apartment due to cost of nursing home. I feel so guilty leaving him. Can’t hold his hand. It is just so hard Have I abandoned him? How do I accept the fact I can’t be with him or help him.

ravensdottir Jan 6, 2024
Did you get with the elder law attorney before moving? If not, it's still not too late.

Knowledge is power. Understanding what a nursing facility can and cannot take of your assets is critical. State and federal resources could help.* You may still be able to have hubby close to you and the space you need to care for yourself.

Best wishes for a speedy, favorable resolution!

* Have you checked out www.findhelp.org or www.benefits.gov? Those are resources that help you find resources which could help with housing, food, utilities, etc.

JoAnn29 Jan 5, 2024
I answered that question saying that their assets can be split. Medicaid allows it.

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BarbBrooklyn Jan 4, 2024
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/spouse-bedridden-with-dementia-and-i-have-to-move-out-of-state-484864.htm?orderby=recent&page=1�

DeeDee, you asked this question a few weeks back. Have you consulted a lawyer? You should not be impoverished by Husband's NH costs.

Is the problem that you can no longer live alone? Can your husband be moved to a NH close you your daughter?

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