Does anyone know about Depakote as a med to calm a dementia patient? My husband is on Depakote 125 mg 2x a day and Ativan as needed.

There are many studies that show Depakote should not be given to people suffering from dementia. In fact for several years Depakote was banned. The clinical trials conducted could not show efficacy of giving Depakote to someone with dementia to help with agitation. However, assisted living / memory facilities love to give it as a 'calming' medication because Depakote is not considered an anti-pyscotic; therefore, it makes the faclities' rating better according to the Medicare standards. Yes, Medicare will give a facility a better rating based on the type of medication given to the residents because back in the day, many patients in nursing homes where just drugged up so they would just be a sleeping zombie all day. The way Medicare decided to crack down on this was to give a better rating to those facilities that didn't use an anti-psychotic. So the facilities have found a way around this and just pump the residents full of other meds to sedate them.

My late husband was on 2000 mg. of Depakote per day for his seizures along with high doses of 2 other seizure medications and he was still able to function relatively well(all things considered).
However I do know that it can cause drowsiness and dizziness, so perhaps you may want to talk to his neurologist about what you're noticing to see if they can perhaps prescribe something else that won't make him so catatonic like, as it may not be mixing well with his other medications.
But with the Depakote being such a low dose, there may also be something else going on. Either way I would put a call in to his neurologist to discuss.

My mom was on Depakote for seizures. She took Ativan and Seroquel for anxiety.

I hope you are able to find a solution for your situation. Wishing you all the best.