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vicky123 Asked January 14, 2024

Faraway aunt with dementia and no money; can state/county intervene?

She is in her 80’s, childless, was pretty much supported throughout her life by a sister who is herself in her 90’s and far away, and who needs to now maintain money for her own expenses. Never gainfully employed, always a ditz and now a ditz with dementia: Friends & neighbors (sounds like mostly people in her neighborhood who she’s “borrowed” money from over the years) are very concerned for her: City condemned her home because she had created an unsafe environment for herself (sister bought the property for her); Debris including useful, junk and trash items, was piled everywhere up to about waist level. Kitchen unusable. Bills unpaid etc. Friends/neighbors have been great, doing some cleaning etc, but they are burning out. We didn’t have much of a relationship with her and are far away. She is on senior service’s radar, whatever that means. She’s not eating regularly. What can we do? Thank you.

mstrbill Jan 14, 2024
APS. She needs a social worker and case manager assigned. You said her house was condemned, so where is she living now? If she is still in the house, then an APS social worker needs to help her find appropriate housing. If she has dementia, she should qualify for LTC Medicaid and be placed in a NH.

Fawnby Jan 14, 2024
You can do - nothing. Things will then take their natural course.

This is one of those tar baby situations. You could stick your hand in to help, but the tar baby would grab hold and you couldn’t get loose. Then you reach in with your other hand to turn yourself loose, and that hand sticks too. Your head, your feet, everything gets stuck, and then you’ll never get out.

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Geaton777 Jan 14, 2024
The neighbors need to stop propping her up and report her to APS as a vulnerable adult. They will move to acquire guardianship of her and will take care of all her needs.

Sounds like she may be a hoarder, which is a mental disorder and cleaning up will only infuriate her and she won't be grateful and will just fill up her house again. Report her to the city as a hazard and to APS. That's as much as anyone can do.

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