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Sojournr Asked January 14, 2024

94-year old dad talks to himself every waking moment.

My dad is just shy of 94. He takes no prescription medications and is normally very healthy. He's had the flu for about three weeks now. He is very active, working seven days a week in his room making hand-sewn bags and designer boxes to give as gifts. He completes the daily crossword puzzle in the newspaper to completion every day. He also does other mind games such as Sudoku, word finds, word jumbles, and such. His days are very regimented. He goes to bed each night at 7:30-8:00 PM and wakes up every morning at 6 AM. He retired almost 30 years ago and yet still follows that same routine.


 


He has always talked to himself a bit (don't we all?), but as of the last several months, and even more so in the last few weeks, he has been talking to himself every waking moment and it's driving my wife and I crazy. We can't have normal conversations without his self-conversations interfering. His hearing is absolutely awful as well. He does have very expensive hearing aids, but they are almost useless.


 


He doesn't exhibit any of the typical signs of dementia or Alzheimer's, but I am concerned that something else might be going on that would cause him to talk non-stop every waking moment. In fact, it's going on midnight here and he went to bed at 7:30 tonight, but I can still hear him in his room talking to himself. I don't know what it could be. My wife and I are looking for some answers or hints to move us in the right direction. Thank you.

lealonnie1 Jan 15, 2024
My mother was 94 when she started having small strokes we were unaware of, but for her behaviors changing a bit. She'd slump over more in her wheelchair, for one. She was talking incessantly in a VERY low voice.....almost a whisper, which was annoying because nobody could hear her. She also was mostly deaf but refused hearing aids. She did have advanced dementia as well......so that made it even more difficult to tell WHAT was going on. Between being mostly deaf, constant talking, and carrying on about her dead parents who I "was hiding in the closet" at her Memory Care ALF, it was all a big mess.

If you want to bring dad to the ER, they can do a CT scan and a brain MRI to determine what's going on (if they feel its warranted). Beware, however, that the brain MRI is extremely LOUD and claustrophobic, to say the least. A cage is placed over the face VERY close to the nose. You're then fed thru the conveyor belt into the very close tunnel like machine to be scanned. My father was very upset after his. Just a warning. The CT scan has no face cage but the tunnel is still close and tight. Just uncomfortable for folks who are anxious or claustrophobic. An Ativan beforehand is recommended for them.

I promised dad I'd not take him for the quarterly MRIs the doc wanted because he had a brain tumor. Only when he needed hospice in order to stay with mom at his Assisted Living facility did I take him back to the ER for another scan to confirm it had grown and he was ready for hospice.

Good luck.

JoAnn29 Jan 15, 2024
He could have had a stroke while sleeping. Mimi ones don't show as much. Call his doctor and get him in to be tested.

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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 15, 2024
My uncle lived to be 96. I remember mom telling me that he asked his doctor if it was okay for him to talk to himself.

He told his doctor that the reason why he spoke to himself was because he was lonely. The doctor told him that if it made him feel better that it was okay.

People in their 90’s have outlived many friends and relatives. Do you think that he needs more socialization?

cwillie Jan 15, 2024
It could be a UTI or other infection, he may have had a small stroke or there could be something else going on that is 100% treatable - behaviour changes like this always are worth a visit to a doctor.

Geaton777 Jan 15, 2024
"Talking incessantly can result from any number of causes, from mental health conditions to cognitive impairment. Seniors often repeat stories or jokes and caregivers usually humor them. But when older adults talk excessively, it may be due to Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia."

Source: https://assistinghands.com/47/illinois/batavia/blog/excessive-talking-dementia/#:~:text=Talking%20incessantly%20can%20result%20from,or%20another%20form%20of%20dementia.

My Mom is 94 and this past year I've noticed that all her thoughts are now "external"... Especially when we're in the car together she produces a running commentary on everything she sees and I have to tell her to not talk until we get home. Her older sister who had dementia for 12 years also did this: all thoughts became external. Talked out loud all day long.

Your Dad most likely has cognitive impairment, which may have been expedited by his recent and ongoing illness. I would take him to see his primary doc soon. When there please discretely ask for a cognitive/memory test so you can see where he's at and also have a baseline.

Dementia occurs gradually and often we don't see it in people we are really close with because we make excuses for the change in their behaviors... and then one day the behavior can no longer be ignored.

Beatty Jan 15, 2024
Flu? Hmm.. wondering about blocked ear tubes, ear infection. Talking out loud because he can't hear a thing, or alternatively, to cover the sounds of tinnitus?
Sojournr Jan 15, 2024
Good morning, Beatty. I think if he had an ear infection, it would be causing him pain or discomfort. He said he has no headache, no body aches, no pains of any kind. He has a lingering cough, and he's still weak. He has never mentioned tinnitus ever in his eight years of living with my wife and I, nor has he mentioned it to his ear doctor.

One thing I forgot to mention that my wife thinks might be a sign of dementia from her research is his fixation on the saying "OK" repeatedly every three seconds all day long or between every sentence. Sometimes I'll be in the room with him and he'll say nothing but "OK" over and over and over to the point that I just have to leave the room because I am unable to concentrate on things I need to do.

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