Unfriendly relationship with sibling, who is my dad's executor.

If you are a named heir as per the will, as far as I am aware, you should get a letter from either the Executor or the probate attorney for the Estate as to your “standing” as to the disposition of the assets of the Estate as per the valid will entered into probate court (PC) to open probate & a PC docket #.

But here’s where it gets sticky, probate does NOT have to be opened quickly. Most States have a deadline as to when it has to HAS TO be opened by. Like Texas it’s 4 yrs from DoD. So your 1/2 Sister in Indiana may not have even opened probate yet. Find out what Indiana has for its PC rules. PC in big cities tend to have a FAQ section to you to reference as some types of probate (small estates affidavit, Muniment of Title) can be DIY and not have to do the traditional full on probate process. Info should be there as to what the Executor can be paid to administer the Estate. If she is herself an attorney, court may or may not allow her to be attorney of record as well as Executor. Really go onto that specific Indiana county courthouse website to see if there’s a FAQ or other detailed information landing page for PC. If not go into the county that capital is in or a big city is in as they should have a consumer friendly probate info area.

& also probate nowadays isn’t what you see on movies or episodic shows….. PC is ime once the atty files the valid will and once there is the initial in the courtroom appointing of the Executor and type of probate selected and their receipt of Letters Testamentary, is all ALL online filing by the attorney as they use their bar card registered with the court go into PC portal. The Executor either gives items to the attorney or they can go and file in person items at the courthouse onto the PC docket. Items would be like a document (with attached receipts) that states all costs Executor dealt with for the Estate for a 6 month period or that an asset has been sold / transferred.

PC as far as I’m aware of is all open public records in all States except for sealed minor adoption filings and the health care documents on guardianship filings. Both heard in PC. Now it being open records does not mean you easily find get them. But once you have the PC docket # for your Dads estate you can go online and for a smallish fee pay for a download of all the filings attached to his Estate. And then you go online periodically to see if anything fresh was filed & pay for those downloads.

Please pls realize that there may not be actual assets to distribute once debts are settled. As someone aptly wrote a will is a wish list. What someone had when they did their will in 1994 may not still be an asset in 2024.

Your mom is in AL, right? So you very well are aware of the costs of care and also how elders get rid of things on purpose or inadvertently. Dad’s $ may not have held out. Costs of care can be horrendous. If he had a home, those costs - especially property insurance(s) - can drain their savings if they are only on the fixed income of SSI. There may not be much left in the bank and their home may have decades of delayed maintenance so not even worth its tax assessor value.

So we are literally in this process right now, so I can speak to this a little bit.

My DH is the executor of his father's estate/will. He had to go into the courthouse and file a copy of the will (and be sworn in as the executor to get the letters of testament in order to be able to start working on behalf of the estate). He couldn't even do this until he got his father's death certificate(s), which took @2 weeks (that varies)

When he filed the will - just a couple of days later - his sister received a notification from the Clerk of Superior Court that she was an heir to their father's estate.

I have to assume that most states have similar requirements - but in our state we have to run an ad in a local newspaper for no less than 90 days to notify creditors that they have to provide any claims to the estate by a certain date or they are null and void after that. So there is definitely AT LEAST a 3 month window from the date that we placed the ad that the estate will be open and no heirs will inherit whatever remains of the estate until after all debts are settled.

There are NAMED inheritances that are outside of the will on which there are beneficiaries - and those will be settled depending on the timebox of the servicing companies - who also require death certificates. Those will pay out on their own schedules directly to the beneficiaries.

The house will be sold and the proceeds first will go to a remaining mortgage/home equity debt. After that, once the estate is settled, the heirs will split what remains.

My point is this. Unless you have a very specific entitlement that lists you as beneficiary, or your inheritance is a piece of jewelry or something along those lines - if your inheritance is monetary - it is unlikely that you will inherit until the DEBTS are settled. From what I understand - debt is always settled first.

Heirs only inherit if there is anything remaining. My FIL's will states that my DH and his sister split 50/50 but that could be 50/50 of 0. It won't be. But legalese is usually written in such a way that it protects the estate from direct pay out to an heir unless there is 100% certainty that the asset will be there to divest to the heir.

In my state, my DH has to provide an inventory within 90 days. And if probate isn't closed within a year the estate can be subject to penalties. He has to have the other heirs sign a receipt stating they have received the distribution they are entitled to. So I mean - that may give you a wide window, at least 3 months to a year.

Additionally- I want to be clear. My FIL had a friend. He showed up on the doorstep THE DAY AFTER MY FIL PASSED AWAY. We saw this on Ring doorbell camera, because no one was home. The next day he was there again and my SIL was home. He told her that FIL had said he left him his guns in the will. SIL was stunned but said that my DH was the executor and would handle anything to do with the will. He has not been back, since he found out that there was actually a legal will, and that DH was the executor.

Nothing was left to this man in the will. (Not that it would matter, the man has a felony record, we wouldn't/couldn't give him the guns even if FIL DID leave them to him). My only real point here is that people also say a lot of things. But your SIS is required by law to file that will and notify the heirs.

However, it is my understanding that once a will is filed with the courts, it is public record and anyone can see it if they request a copy. You can go to the courthouse where it was filed and ask to see it or they can send you a copy for a fee.

Here's what I found in an online search (and one can assume the rules/procedures vary by state):

"Although you are a presumptive heir, the facts may contradict this presumption.

This is relevant because you do not have a per se right to see the will simply because you are a child of the decedent. IF however, you are named as a beneficiary under the will, you have to be given notice and must consent to the probating of the will (or file your objection).

You can also file a request to have the will probated, if a will does in fact exist. This will force the holder of the will to produce it, if for some reason they had failed to enter it to probate.

Wills and estates laws and procedure are very technical and complicated. I advise you consult with an attorney familiar with the rules and law in your county."

Source: https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/does-the-adult-child-of-a-deceased-parent-have-the-1529104.html

Maybe the Executor could be in the process of locating the assets and going through the protocols (submitting death certificates, etc). This can take time.

From what I can gather, you can see the Will if it has been probated. If you petition for the Executor to produce the Will and there is indeed one, but you're not a named beneficiary, then you may be responsible to pay for the costs for this petition no matter what.

I'm not giving you legal advice since I'm not an attorney. But the Executor in your case *is* an attorney, so you may want to consult your own estate lawyer to get the best guidance, and not this global, anonymous forum where there is not accountability for inaccurate advice.

I'm in an "8 month" state, but it has taken a full year and a half to settle everything. It was a bit complicated, but not that much more than the usual (I suppose). Everything takes twice as long as you think it will. But you should be able to see the will since he has passed. You might even be able to go into a government office like the Register of Wills to get a copy.

Great information everyone, thank you.

Dad passed at the end of December.

No wife, my step-mother passed years ago. My assumption is that anything left after bills and taxes goes to the children and grand-children. He was not on Medicaid. I'm sure there are bills to be paid (but he did prepay the funeral expenses), and the house to be sold (both of us daughters live in other states), so it sounds like I shouldn't expect anything for some time. Which is fine. Just wanting to set expectations for myself.

I was just wondering whether I could see the will, and how would I go about that. Sounds like if I don't ask for it sooner, I will get a copy of it in due time, assuming I'm named in it.

@AlvaDeer, how sizable is SIZABLE in your opinion? Just curious. It's not millions or anything.

I will see if it's been filed in probate, it's been about a month since he passed.

Does your Father have a surviving wife?

If so, his Will may have stated that everything goes to her.

This is what happened when my FIL passed and was survived by his second wife (my husband's stepmother). My brother-in-law (my husband's brother) was shocked (and angry) that he wasn't going to get an inheritance at that time. Everything went to his surviving wife. I think there's a trust and then (if there's any money leftover from her care) there will be an inheritance.

I think there maybe a certain period of time the Executor has to notify beneficiaries and provide them with a copy of the Will once Probate is filed. I do know I had to send a form to Probate showing I had informed the beneficiaries by mail. Filing in my State cannot take place until about 10days after death.

Ur sister is not Executor until Probate OKs it. Then she is given a short certificate to be able to handle Dads assets. In my State, you can't close an estate until after 8 months. Gives creditors time to file claims. It will depend on how much is involved in Dads estate to when Probate gets closed. All debts have to be paid first. Dad may have stipulated how much u were to receive but debts may eat that up. There will be an accounting that you will need to sign before you get ur inheritance. If you don't agree with something, you can contest it at that time. As the Executor, your SS will have to follow the wishes of your Dad.

If its been awhile since Dads passing, call the Probate Office in the County he lived in to see if the Will has been filed. You can get a copy from them if it has been. If it has been filed ask how long does the Executor need to inform beneficiaries. If your SS has not sent u a letter within that time ask them how do they handle that.

It took 2 years for me to close Probate because I needed to sell Moms house. I paid no taxes once she was gone. So I had that lien and a Medicaid lien to satisfy. When all was said and done, we got 10k between 3 children. Wills are not promises, they are what ifs. If there is anything left after a person dies.

It can take a long time to settle an estate and distribute the funds.
All bills owing to the estate must be paid before distribution and the time it takes is dependent on how complicated it is.
HOWEVER, every state has legal stipulations about how soon beneficiaries MUST BE notified by mail that they ARE beneficiaries (no amount need be stipulated). Look up the law for your state by googling (or other search engine) "How soon must Michigan beneficiaries be notified by executor" for instance.

Moreover, wills must be filed for probate. This is a public filing and you can access the will through your local (usually county) records office. TRUSTS, however, do not get filed. So we must hope this is a will and not a trust.

Often the executor has many duties and many tasks. For instance the will may say that they are to sell properties and then divide the proceeds in certain ways. As you can imagine this takes a good deal of time. It is more than a year since a good friend died and I know her executor. The estate was simple but complicated by fact my friend has not filed her taxes for 8 years! There was a property to sell and the retirement funds are STILL showing up after a year. No beneficiary has been given money as yet, tho all were notified they ARE beneficiaries.

As you can see this is complicated legal stuff. If this is a SIZABLE estate and inheritance you may want to hire your own representative Trust and Estate Attorney for quicker answers as to whether or not you are even mentioned in any will currently extant.

Good luck.

All beneficiaries are supposed to be given a copy of the will. If you are named in the will as a beneficiary you usually get a copy of the will from the executor within 3 months of the person dying.

If she is refusing to give you a copy you may have to take legal action against her for it.

In Indiana they can take up to 3 years to do everything. Usually though unless the estate has a lot of assets and creditors and a house to sell etc it takes 3 to 6 months.