New Here. How to handle abusive, drunk parents that need care.

Amen to that, Zippy.

Definitely go to Al-Anon. It is very supportive and helpful.

Well said, Isthisrealyreal. Truer words have never been spoken or written.

Thanks for the reply. Good question, I guess because I realize they are sick and it’s hard for me to turn my back on them now that they want help.

What happens if they no longer have a POA and no one to look after them?

Never tolerate the lashing out nonsense for one second. Don't take their abuse. Walk away and leave them to it.

Good advice. However, I'm remembering the horrible circumstances with my brother while reading about Lion's situation. We called an ambulance when my brother said on the phone that he fell, couldn't get up, but would not allow us in his house (he hadn't allowed us in for years). He refused the ambulance, then called the police on us. When we explained to the police the situation, they went inside his house, talked to him, and reported back to us that he was fine, sitting in a chair, and in no danger. AND that if we interfered again we would be charged. One month later my brother was in the hospital with heart failure, delusions, an arm turned blue from a clot, and inability to walk from more clots in his legs. Going in his house we found cat and human waste everywhere, a totally ruined bathroom, months of trash buildup in the kitchen, and just the most disgusting situation I'd ever seen or smelled. The beautiful house he had planned and built himself 35 years before was a wreck. He died 4 months later in a nursing home, never coming back from his delusional state of mind. I wasn't POA and had no authority. His daughter decided to leave him alone. He talked to me daily on the phone in the month after he called the police because he didn't know I had been involved in calling the ambulance. He actually somehow sounded okay, as he always had. I spent many days with him in the first nursing home, but the second one wouldn't allow me in because of covid, so I continued daily phone calls. All this while also being there for my mom every day. (I was on leave from work). I see now that APS should have been called, but the police warning stopped my niece from doing anything further, except to get the poor cat out of there. My brother, a talented, athletic, handsome, and established man, chose to drink himself to death. Yes, it was a disease, but with so much addiction in my family I have finally come to realize there is sadly very little we can do to save our loved ones from destroying themselves. Our hearts just have to get broken again and again as we try everything we can think of to do for them.