He was driving until Nov 2022. There were some signs of decline like not knowing where he was a few times. Also didn't stop at a stop sign & police pulled him over but let him go with warning. Also seemed to wander a bit, but he still seemed `ok` . In Nov 22 he fell down basement stairs & was so bruised & banged up he couldn't drive for several months. He then was diagnosed with lung cancer & went thru treatments and still not driving...he then, since fall of 23 has fallen 3 times, breaking his pelvis twice & his femur just recently & had surgery. He keeps asking for his keys & wants to drive. I (we) keep putting him off but he gets angry about it. After each fall & rehab his cognitive function declines more. He doesn't know where he is alot of the time, doesn't remember Mom passed, etc. He can't focus. He just cannot have those keys! How has anyone else handled?
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I didn’t have to tell either of them. Their doctor told them and they accepted it gracefully.
I am sorry that your dad is struggling with not being able to drive and causing grief for you. It’s a stressful situation.
He doesn’t understand and expressing his feelings about the matter.
Are you the primary caregiver? If he has others caring for him and he is working on your nerves horribly, then walk away for a while.
I wouldn’t continue an argument with him after you have already discussed it. He isn’t able to comprehend that he is no longer a safe driver.
Is he on any meds to calm him down during his agitation? You could speak with his doctor about this.
You can take safety precautions if you feel that he will try to drive the car. Disable the car in some way.
Wishing you all the best.
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He apparently shouldn’t be living alone now, and if he goes to Assisted Living, they’ll provide transportation.
Another option is to put in an anonymous call to DMV in his state about an unsafe driver and see what happens from that.
Or, replace his key with one that won't start the vehicle and use a therafib to keep him from ever driving again.
Or, give him the keys and completely disable the car so that he cannot drive whether or not he has or finds the keys.
I think dishonesty and hedging creates anger.
If he asks why tell him that his doctor has told you that it is no longer safe for him to do so.