Any advice on coping with the depression of losing someone you love. I'm not coping well with it.

Pena,
GriefShare is free. There are probably groups in your area.

Check them out, here: https://www.griefshare.org/

You'll be with people who understand, and with people who have made it through the season you're in.

I think all the input about grief counseling, perhaps a griefshare or similar program are good. That said, I think there is no easy way around it. For a time, it will hurt like hell and we have to accept that.

And in a way, accepting it will be hard, and knowing it will get better, sort of help as it makes one realize this is not abnormal .

It never gets totally easy of course. I remember watching Katie Couric once describing her grief in losing both her husband and sister at young ages, but a few years after

She said (and I think she heard this somewhere else) grief is like having a rock in your pocket. Its always there. /But sometimes you are busy with life and dont notice it as much. But others times all you can think of is how annoying that rock in your pocket is.

You say "death has made me think what's it all for? What's the point in living when at the end it means nothing." I think most anyone who has lost a loved one feels this way for a while. He was your entire life for a very long time, so how could you feel otherwise? I keep wondering where they have gone? It seems impossible that they are gone. You can't afford therapy? There are ways to get help without paying for it if you feel you do not have the money right now. There are grief support groups. Look into that is your area. And get yourself out of the house and around other people and cute animals. You say "I feel something is wrong and it's not letting me heal." The thing that feels wrong, but is not, is that you now live with grief. It's part of you now, but it gets easier to bear. All of how you feel is because you love so deeply and that is a very good thing.

Pena,
I didn't realize this was so new and so raw. You are in what could be considered a normal state now of grief and hopelessness. Remember the 988 hotline when you are feeling hopeless.
And do know that time will help. You already recognize that. Try to celebrate his life while you mourn your loss. Remember. Create a scrapbook. Fill it with notes to him about all you remember.

But also know that while time makes things less acute only YOU can make them BETTER. You aren't alone.

I myself am not a believer, but if you are, your faith based community can be a great help to you. To be honest, ANY faith based community would likely open its arms to you with loving kindness, whether you are a believer or are not. Again, try a support group. Even if only on Facebook. It will let you know you are not alone in feelings and in fear.

As to what's it all about? How about a Philosophy class when you are on your feet? Because mankind has been asking that question since he lived in caves. I am 81. I don't know. It's about fostering a little dog named Frieda. It's about looking at a snowflake's intricacy. It's about the color coffee goes when you pour in the cream. Start a notebook. It's about the way hay and grass cut when newly mown.

My heart goes out to you. I wish we could sit and chat over a cuppa.
Please take care of yourself.

Thank you all for your kind words I keep trying but It is so difficult

Seek out counseling, online grief groups etc. I did both and found the online group better. The biggest help is simply time. The early stages after loss are filled with shock. After my dad died two years ago, my world felt upside down, especially given how sudden his illness and passing were. It took me probably 6 months to have the shock lessen. I was also able to look back on other losses in my life and realize that no matter what, my life goes on. Allow yourself time and just focus on getting through each day for now. I hope this helps and I’m sorry for your loss.

Grief counseling is your Best solution and a Therapist . Plan a trip or cruise something to Look forward to . 10 years Is a Longtime . Sorry for your Loss you will recover .

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

It’s obvious how much you loved Robin. You had a special relationship that you will never forget, nor should you ever forget the time that you spent together.

It’s perfectly normal for you to miss Robin and grieve for your loss. You don’t say how long it has been since Robin died.

If you feel like you are stuck, consider attending grief counseling and become involved in a grief support group.

I wish you peace as you struggle to live without Robin.

Try not to put expectations on yourself, there is no right amount of time. You lost not only an extremely important person in your life but a job as well. When you are ready, perhaps volunteering your time will be as beneficial to you as to those you help.

I fought back from depression once by helping others. I remember when the first day was over I realized that for the first time, I had not thought about my pain for three whole hours! It was exhilarating to realize I might just get through it. For a while, the only time I could get it out of my mind was when I was focussed on someone else’s problems.

Not suggesting you ignore or try to get around the grief, just get some respite from it once in a while and expend some energy to help you sleep better.

Best of luck and Gid bless you as you grieve.

What family and friend support do you have?
Have you joined a grief support group?
Have you attempted to see a grief counselor?

I am so sorry for your loss. Usually when you have been this close, and when you have had so much resolved, the loss is somewhat easier in that you can celebrate that, celebrate a life well lived and a life of love and comfort at the end, and the knowledge that you have no longer to fear for this person you love. In your case it is not. You had 10 years in which your entire life revolved around this man.

I will be honest with you. I am 81. My partner of 37 years is 83. I want to go first. I just don't want to try to do life without him, really. And I say that as someone who has all my life been a "loner".
The only way through grief is through it. You can't run from it or deny it. Your feelings of loss of partner and of purpose are acute. You don't tell us how long ago he passed, but the timeline is different for everyone.

I recommend to you a podcast if you like them, called Terrible, Thanks for Asking done by Nora McNerney. She lost her own husband, her Dad and a baby when only in her thirties. She has moved on with her life, but her first husband remains very much a part of her life. You don't have to leave Robin behind.
Get help if you are stuck. Stop asking yourself to get over this or to let this go. This is a part of who you are.
Again, I am so very sorry for your loss. Be easy on yourself.
Remember to check in with your MD. While I myself am sort of convinced we have become an over-medicated society, sometimes a low dose anti depressant can help us bridge troubled waters enough to begin to think outside the box we have ourselves in.

You need to seek grief counseling ASAP. There are Grief Share groups all over the country, along with private grief therapists as well. If your loved one was under hospice care at the end they offer free grief counseling too.
You should also speak to your doctor about your depression, and get on some antidepressants, until at least you feel more like yourself.
Grief is different for everyone and "grief never ends, but it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
And I believe the more we loved someone the longer it takes to move on, but move on we must. Your loved one would not want you being stuck in a place of mourning and sadness, but instead would want you to move forward in finding joy once again in the life you have left.
I believe that we bring our loved ones honor when we can move forward in a positive manner after they leave us and this world for the next. It's the least we can do.

I cared for my late husband for 24 1/2 years of our 26 year marriage, and after he died I felt lost and wandered for quite a while wondering what it was I was to do next. It took time to figure out what my new life would look like, and now almost 3 1/2 years after his death, I'm still figuring things out. But I can tell you that life is good and so is God.
I am finding things that bring me joy and I feel my husbands presence with me daily.
Our loved ones never leave us. They may not be with us in the physical world but they are always in our hearts, and sometimes that just has to be enough.
May God bless you and keep you as you walk this journey of grieving and healing.

The loss is proving too great to wade through on your own. I’m glad you reached out. Please take the next step and find a local support group and/or counselor. Many have been helped without cost by the groups of GriefShare. See if there’s one in your area and start attending, you’ll receive compassion and tools to help. I’m sorry for your loss and wish you peace and hope in moving forward

Time.

So sorry for your loss. 10 years of caregiving is a long time . It is hard to transition when now everything is changed. Seek out grief counseling . And private therapy. And remember your loved one would want you to live your best life. It takes time.