What do you do when your father refuses to go to the Dr., refuses to take medication for diabetes, heart issues, etc.?

Call APS to report a vulnerable elder with dementia living alone, is about all you can do.

Good luck.

My dad was totally uncooperative..did not take his meds, ended up in the hospital, they asked him the magic questions and deemed he was good to go and released him. Wash, rinse, repeat. Total of 5 times in one year.. The last time he drove his car a day later than usual to make his round 260 mile trip to see his vast empire. Only this time he was totally confused and did not know where he was. This time he was blocking traffic. Sheriff was called, ambulance was called, the hospital dialed him back in with meds, they asked him those magic questions and this time he could not answer them. They deemed him as an unsafe discharge because he lived alone. They wanted to ship him off to a nursing home which means either medicade if he doesn’t have resources to pay for it, or I can sign him out and let him go back home knowing he can’t live by him self and refused at home care or health aides. I have poa and I placed him in a memory care facility that his assets from his vast empire will now pay for. He hates me, said he’s gonna sue me, and says all kinds of stuff.. either the state takes over or the poa does. If no poa ya need to file for guardianship. Yeah it’s hard. Not gonna lie to you. They basically loose their freedom and get warehoused in a nice jail. Thank God that there are places like that. I know it’s a business model, but most of the people who work there are angels…. Doing this on your own in your home will be very demanding and could be detrimental to your health especially because of the emotional investment…..

Even for those who are legal representatives for their LOs, it is very difficult to get an uncooperative elder to comply.

I agree with the advice given to you to report him to APS. They deal with this issue all the time.

Ginger,

Please get him to neurologist to have him tested for dementia. The paranoia is a big sign that he needs help. I'm not sure how to help with the not taking his meds. My dad refused to use his steroid eye drops and now he is blind. But you can't rationalize with someone who has dementia. If you know that he is suffering from some form of dementia, then get him to a hospital, even if you have to call the ambulance yourself. Once in the emergency room you can hopefully get the nurses to call in a neurologist and the hospital can send him to a nursing home. It sounds harsh but it was the only way my parents were going to go into a senior facility. They were completely unsafe in their home. Now almost a year later, my dad is actually content in the nursing home. My mom has gotten sicker but at least she has medication for her symptoms and she needed to be placed. She was dangerous to herself and to my dad.
Not all nursing homes are bad. There are many that are just fine. Not the answer for everyone, but it has helped my family.
Best of luck.

I would call APS. If you are POA or you are next of kin you have currently someone with all the signs of a severe dementia, who is undiagnosed and home alone, a clear danger to himself.
IF you do not have POA please consider NOT assuming it. I sadly made this recommendation to all here as I was POA and Trustee for a very organized, loving, mostly with it, very cooperative brother and it was STILL hard. To manage for someone who has other things happening? Impossible. You currently cannot even guess if you are dealing with a UTI or a serious dementia.
What support system do you currently have?

I agree that APS is a good idea. Does your dad have guns in the home? Thinking about the paranoia.
Is he able to call a contractor and have a fence put up?
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You have to be careful with a lot of these drugs. Don't be so fast to force them on anyone and it is wise to look into alternatives.

Did you know that Metformin can cause serious issues. It was recalled at one time because people were dying from it. They found there was a cancerous concern due to the levels of NDMA. I believe it was mainly from the drugs sourced from other countries (like China).

Also many issues with extreme joint pain. To the point where people who where on it had scheduled knee surgery, but after getting off of the drug ....the pain stopped. They cancelled the surgery!

That is just one example. There are also holistic options that do actually work. Even something as simple as dandelion root for diabetes or beet juice for blood pressure. There have even been some studies to show coffee can help reduce your risk of dementia.

Many people with dementia show behavioral disturbances as an expression of distress caused by boredom and loneliness. Structured and unstructured activities go a long way in enhancing their quality of life.

Ginger74: Contact APS to report the situation.

There needs to be term for this.
This grey zone between safely & happily independant & no longer coping & caretakers required.

Vlad's tale below is told well & the common sense shines through. Like that, it may take a few rounds of 'crises' to effect change.

Also, as many posters have found, refusing help does not mean they don't NEED help. Even the stubborn have accept help & change.. eventually.

Look up the term Anosognosia. That might be apt for your situation.

You can contact APS and report a "Vulnerable elder"
You can contact your State's Elder Abuse hotline number. Lack of self care and neglect is reportable.

If he is on medications he must be seeing a doctor or he would not be able to get refills. You could contact the doctors office and express your concerns if he does have "x" number of refills before the doctor care reorder the medications they could make him come in to see the doctor.
If you are not his HIPAA forms they can not give you information but they can take the information that you give them,.

BUT..unfortunately if you are not POA, if you are not listed as being able to get information from his doctor all you can do is wait until something happens and then you can TRY top convince medical staff that he is not safe at home alone and that you are not able to care for him 24/7