Needing daytime activities for spouse with vascular dementia.

You can consider hiring a companion for him, either privately or through an agency. A companion aid's hourly rate is the lowest since they don't required any specialized training (like fall risks, meds dispensing, other medical) but whoever you hire must have at least a little experience in working with people with dementia. A guy would be preferable.

Your husband fixating on you could be Shadowing, which often comes with dementia, or it could be a type of OCD/paranoia. You should talk to a neurologist about reviewing his meds, as he may now need them for those symptoms.

In the past I hired an awesome companion aid for my 2 elderly Aunts through an agency. They had her for 6 years until she retired. I had to cycle through a few bad fits first, but this lady was totally worth it.

Since your husband is pretty young, he must have some guys that know him. You could opt to pay 2 or 3 of them to be his companions on a regular basis and do a little training of them yourself (or point them to a book or videos on YouTube). The right person is worth training.

Large churches sometimes run Adult Day Care on their premises but don't spend much on advertising to keep the costs down. Call up a few big local churches and ask, they might know if other churches in the area have programs even if they don't.

I wish you all the best in getting the right solution for both of you!

Below is a link to dementia activities available on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=activities+for+elderly+with+dementia&hvadid=580696441831&hvdev=t&hvlocphy=9052218&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=12320174378583113676&hvtargid=kwd-311218545835&hydadcr=22597_13493304&tag=googhydr-20&ref=pd_sl_5qui9glo6s_e

At Home Activities For Dementia Patients

https://www.healthline.com/health/dementia/activities-for-dementia-patients-at-home

Keep in mind that with advanced dementia at play, there may be few activities your husband is able to or interested in participating in. The second link discusses that fact in further detail.

Golden Grace Adult Day Care
4.3 star rating
Adult day care center in McKinney, Texas
1710 N McDonald St, McKinney, TX 75071
Monday8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Tuesday8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Wednesday8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Thursday8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Friday8:30 AM–4:30 PM
Saturday9:30 AM–4:30 PM
SundayClosed

https://www.goldengracedahs.com/


Good luck.

I find it hard to believe that all the Adult Daycare Centers are all closed in your area.
They do a wonderful job with folks with dementia. You can bring them up to 5 days a week and up to 8 hours a day. And they serve breakfast, lunch and a snack, and offer lots of different activities to keep folks busy.
I would double check with your Senior Services, and Area Agency on Aging as well, as they can let you know what's available in your area.
Other than that perhaps you can see if you can have a volunteer come sit with him awhile and keep him occupied.
Check with your church and the Shepherd Center as they have folks that come out for free.

I can't know your husband and his own particular case; I think you would be better, and your daughter, at guessing at what might help. But I also suspect, that knowing him, this is now becoming too much for even the both of you--daughter and yourself. It isn't honestly fair that you should be breadwinner and your daughter give up her own life for this sacrifice which will be demanding more and more of you in my own humble opinion. I think it may be time to discuss with daughter, and look to the future as to what it might look like.

Have you investigated any day care programs? Call your local council on aging.

I am so very sorry. I wish I had a clue what to suggest and I hope many others do. I wish you the best and hope you'll update us.