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SIRROM52 Asked February 8, 2024

My sister is manipulating my mother into changing her will.

My sister takes my mother to the bank practically every day and lets her drink alcohol while on medication. My mother is 94-years-old. I think she has dementia. I made doctor appointments and my ssister cancels them. She does not have POA or anything. I'm my mother's caretaker and have been for over 15 years with no help. What can I do? Shehas parties at my mother's house and leaves while people are still there. 

AlvaDeer Feb 10, 2024
Call APS and ask for a case of elder abuse be opened for investigation.
They may assist you in getting temporary guardianship for your mother.

anonymous1768885 Feb 10, 2024
Not much you can do about it since mom has not been declared incompetent. Why does your sister have so much power over what mom does or doesn't do in regards to doctor appointments? I am going to assume that both of you live with mom.

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againx100 Feb 10, 2024
Does your sister live with mom? Do you think your sister is trying to get mom drunk or is it "normal" for mom to drink? If my mom wants to drink at 80, I say why not? Even if it did interfere with her meds, at this age and poor condition, what are we trying to prolong? I'm just talking about 1 or 2 drinks, not getting wasted.

If you're mom's caretaker, how is sis taking mom to the bank all the time? Do you have POA? Do you do mom's bills? If you have access to her bank account, I'm sure there's something you can do to stop these withdrawals. Like cut up mom's ATM card. Get mom evaluated for dementia.

How does sister know about the doctor appointments? Call the facility and let them know that she does not have the authority to cancel any appointments.

She's a real piece of work. How is she trying to change the will? If your mom can be declared incompetent, anything she signs will not hold up under legal scrutiny.

Geaton777 Feb 9, 2024
You can go to the bank and let them know you're worried about her being financially abused. Other than that, you can report her to APS as a vulnerable adult.

NeedHelpWithMom Feb 8, 2024
Do you live with your mother? I hope your mother isn’t living alone at age 94 with dementia.

Has mom ever been assessed for dementia? Have you contacted Council on Aging in your area to get an assessment of her needs?

Are you around when your sister has these parties and leaves? Tell the guests to leave.

Do you have POA?

Have you seen her will?

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