My mother is 96. My mentally ill/homeless sister (paranoid schitz) came to visit mom and has not left after 8 weeks. Sister is not on meds but should be. She refuses treatment/meds. My mother knows she should not be living there, but cannot bring herself to “kick her out”. My siblings and I all believe Sister is a danger to others and property. Sister leaves violent threatening crude phone messages for us daily, 10-20-40+ vms per day. Can I install nanny cams in “public areas” of moms home without telling mom or sister so we can see what is happening. We are concerned for mothers safety and well being.
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We have several posters here who have loved ones who are mentally ill. This is so difficult for the entire family. I am sorry.
In order to better understand your situation I am adding some questions for my assumptions in an effort to help you think through your options.
So your sister is in her 60s or early 70s? An elder herself? I assume she has SS income?
I’m thinking no, you can’t legally put a camera in someone else’s home if you don’t have a DPOA or guardianship for that person. I assume your mom is competent or she wouldn’t have been living alone to begin with? Do you think it would be legal for your kids to put a camera in your home w/o your permission? Probably not.
So were you accustomed to running errands for mom? Has that stopped with sis living with mom? Does mom have health concerns, do you take her for medical care?
If sister receives mail there, stays too long, depending on your state tenant laws, mom may have to evict her to get her to leave.
About all you can do is call Adult Protective Services to ask that mom be checked on and share your concerns.
Mom might be appealed to by reminding her that w/o the meds sis will get worse. She may have a UTI or other health issue causing her to be more manic or delusional than normal.
If sister is self medicating with alcohol or drugs that will add to the problem. Since she is staying with mom, she probably has more free income to spend on such than normal.
Does she have a car? Driving mom’s car? Taking money from mom and buying groceries or fast food?
What has been the history? Does sis periodically come for a visit or is this all unexpected?
if a person is psychotic the usual drill is to take them to a Behavorial clinic where they are seen by a psychiatrist and therapist and meds prescribed, sometimes a shot given for those who won’t take daily meds.
Once they stabilize, not as delusional, not suicidal, they are released to a care home for most of their income or a shelter.
Since mom is not refusing her, sister would possibly go right back but she might be better than before until she quits taking the meds again.
It would give mom a reprieve and a chance to consider her options. Mom may be frightened to cooperate with APS if she is afraid of sister.
Mom is fortunate to have you looking out for her.
They can open a case and investigate for protection. They can also advise you on nanny cams and their legality for your state.
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