My mom moved to Puerto Rico 2021 to take care of her mom. She was close to one of her 3 sisters and a cousin. About a month and a half ago my grandmother had a stroke and my aunt and uncle claimed my mom couldn’t take care of my grandmother or herself. They claimed my mother has changed. Speaking to my mom over the phone was hard because she would misplace her phone. Between my older sister and I we kept in touch weekly. So the estranged aunt my mother isn’t close with told us that her estranged brother and other sister were going take care of my mom. We were trying for months to get my mom here but my mom didn't know where her stuff is (ID and she’s getting Social S). A week later my family goes ghost my sisters and I blew up every number we could find until my aunt told us they put my mom in a home. Without our consent. The whole time they never took her to the doctors to get her checked. Now after weeks of back and fourth we found out today my uncle made himself “in charge” of my mom and claims only way we can get her here to the states was if we flew down to get her. We already told them we couldn’t because circumstances here and we don’t trust him at all he’s never been in our lives and my mom hated him. we feel he should just bring her to air port and request assistance. We’ll take care of her here. He doesn’t want it that way he wants it his way. This place he placed is weird one number to a building not connected to facility where my mom is. So no updates. Is this legal? How can my sister and I get my mom here back to the states? My mom wanted my older sister to be her POF.
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Read the OP’s response to my post. She says that her mom is not sick and is doing well so I am inclined to believe that her grandmother had the stroke.
Two years could be a lifetime.
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You cannot even know what is going on. Nor can we.
It's time to pay a visit and see what's up.
I would NEVER put her on a plane by herself, no matter how short the flight. It would be unfair to the staff, and probably terrifying for her. And just an unsafe thing to do.
I don't have any idea of what the rules about PoA are in PR (since even here the rules can vary by each state). Maybe your Uncle just took responsibility for her in order to get her the appropriate care. I don't know what other local solution there would be. FYI just because you're her daughters does *legally* give you any more or less authority for your Mom than any other person, family or not.
Citizens of PR can receive Medicaid benefits in PR but not sure what happens if they emigrate to the mainland.
I strongly suggest you plan a trip to PR to see what's actually going on before you attempt to bring her here. Make sure she has a full medical exam to discount any other source of her cognitive decline. Make sure YOU have a plan and understand the very high cost of care when, at some point, you/your sisters burn out from being with her 24/7 (like if she becomes 100% incontinent, uncooperative -- all of which are high possibilities). Family caregiving strategy sounds good until the burnout occurs. Please please read the many other posts on this forum made by well-meaning, loving family members who are now utterly burnout out and financially drained. FYI Medicaid on the mainland (and in most states) only pays for LTC, which means one has to basically be bedridden and unable to help themselves.
Please know that she is probably past being able to create a PoA. No one can do it for her. Now you'd need to pursue guardianship through the courts and it can be thousands of dollars out of your own pockets. The only other option is guardianship by the county. And then you and family are not in the decision-making loop for medical and financial for her anymore.
And, big changes in environment often causes a person's dementia to worsen (at least for a while).
So, please do lots and lots of homework before you make any decisions. I wish you all the best as you try to find the right diagnosis, place and care for your Mom.
should read, "FYI just because you're her daughters does NOT *legally* give you any more or less authority for your Mom than any other person, family or not.
When was the last time that you saw or spoke with your mom?
Does your uncle have power of attorney for your mom? Is your mom in poor health.
Are you planning to visit your mom? Can you get more information about your mom from the nursing home?
You may need to consult with an attorney to get this resolved.