New rule is not allowing our loved one to enjoy things she looked forward to. What can we do?

You can always bring in and feed her anything you want when you are there, just don't leave food in her room or pass anything around to the other residents. My mom was on a pureed diet also but she still was able to successfully chew and swallow a few little crunchy snacks (potato chips, cheese puffs, mini crackers and the like), I had one dietary aid that gave me grief but she backed off when I made it clear I wasn't a misguided idiot and since I had been her hands on caregiver I knew my mother better than she did.

She can still have her goodies. The facility will have to have her POA sign a disclaimer form to say that they will not try to sue the facility if she gets hurt as a result of the outside food coming in. That document would also have to state that the person bringing in the treats would be personally liable if any treats were left behind and another resident got ahold of them and was caused injury. Personal liability means the person who brought the treats agrees that they can be sued personally for damages.

Tell the director of the facility to do five minutes of actual work and have their legal department make up this document so you can give your LO their treat again.

Ask for a meeting to discuss a "best interests decision" about this. The meeting should include her physician, whoever is in charge of her day to day care, and whoever last assessed her swallowing reflex. Your mother must have the risk explained to her and be helped to express her views, not least because if she is still mentally capable (despite her sensory impairments) it's actually her decision that counts.

Is this an assisted living or nursing home?
For some assisted livings, they have a "residents council" and/or a "family council". IF so, in those groups new rules can be brought up for discussion and if a number of residents or family have issue with the rule, then it can be brought up to management to reconsider.

If there is no council, even then some concerns can be brought up to management.

I suppose this is one "downside" to facilities where you do have to follow rules, compared to being at home with family caregivers where you can do more of what you want....

My step MIL who was living in independent living was supposed to be on puree foods. She refused , her rightful choice . She was in an out of the hospital multiple times for aspiration pneumonia . While she was in the hospital yet again for aspiration, she had her daughter bring her a tuna sandwhich because the hospital would only give her purée foods . Daughter dropped it off . The woman choked on it and died while her husband was in the room in a chair across from her and had fallen asleep . When he woke up he thought his wife had simply fallen asleep in the chair but she was dead . The daughter went to a lawyer to try to sue the hospital . The lawyer of course told her she did not have a case.

It is good that you realize you would have to take on full responsibility . I hope you can make this arrangement , so your Mom can have her treats IF MOM ASKS FOR TREATS . Good luck .

Is this for your Mother or for you to enjoy? Or both?

That may sound like a dumb or cruel question. I ask as I have seen a relative feed their LO (on puree diet) a sandwich they could not chew or swallow. Reason: relative felt they were being starved. Result: aspirated.

It had been suggested that relative talk to the Dietician to understand the situation better.

While your situation seems quite different, I wonder if there was a Dietician on staff you could discuss with? Find a safe way to have Mom get her treat food.

Yes she can have her cookies. Write on a piece of paper that you take responsibility if she chokes on the cookie. She should not be deprived of it.

Where is she?
The facility cannot legally provide. It isn't a matter of you/r family taking full responsibility for what rules the facility must follow.

You can. Just don't say anything to staff.
Ask volunteer(s) to visit and give her a melted-like candy for her enjoyment.

Gena / Touch Matters

When my mother in law was in a memory care facility they put her birthday cake in a blender and fed it to her that way. She smiled through the whole process.

dspd77: See if there is a dietician on staff.