My husband's family removed him from our home, because they felt I didn't understand his FTL dementia.They felt they could care for him better. What to do?

reneko,
Can you please return to answer some questions posted here, and to let us know if you have retained counsel of an attorney in this matter.
We would so appreciate more information and an update.

There's something you're not telling us. The family can not just come in your home and take your husband. If anyone tried that here there would be a literal fight! Did they come when you were at work? Was it an intervention because you weren't taking proper care of him? He drives? And works? One day he won't be able to do either and maybe shouldn't be now. If your story is true why didn't you call the police?

Now I read that "they" are trying to get a bifurcation divorce.
This story gets more and more odd.
No one can "get" a divorce for someone. People sue for divorce one spouse against the other, or they agree on a divorce.
You are legally married? Then you are next of kin unless your husband actually appointed someone ELSE as his POA/guardian. YOU would be his guardian almost automatically before the courts in almost any state in the union EVEN in the event he has children from a first marriage.
Someone swooping into your home and secreting your husband out of the home would be a kidnapping, especially if he is helpless and under your legal care by documentation.
I am not understanding this at all, and can only guess there is much missing in this story, and again recommend to you an attorney who DOES know this entire story.

Call APS; why was that not done on day one of this?
They will investigate. You need to tell them that your husband has been taken by the family and you suspect ELDER ABUSE AND FRAUD.
Ask them to investigate. Give them any proof of history of dementia.

If their finding is that your husband is competent to make this decision then he is competent enough for you to sue him for divorce, get division of assets, and make a new life. See an attorney the day you know he is considered competent under the law to make his own decisions.

Pretty simple. He either is competent and prefers to be with family and give them his money; you just need to protect YOUR HALF of the assets.
If he is incompetent the APS can assist you in getting temporary guardianship, removal and placement, but make no mistake, this could be a legal fight. Be sure you care enough to protect him and want his entire care, financial and otherwise on you. And be sure you want to/are capable of being his guardian. It is a LEGAL financial fiduciary duty which makes you responsible for every penny in and every penny out. You become a file drawer.

I hope you have already protected whatever funds you can yourself move. If that isn't done then DO IT TODAY.

You will soon enough need an attorney. The question is whether elder law or divorce.

You have been married to your husband for over 35 years and his relatives just walked into your home and moved him out of your home? Did your husband give them POA? It’s time for you to seek the advice of an elder law attorney to see what your rights are and if they have violated your rights.

On face value of what you have written, if this is true, I would be calling the police because your husband was kidnapped.

But I am assuming there is another side to the story because what you have written here is truly bizarre.

I would also demand to see the updated will removing you from the inheritance. Someone else can't just take away an inheritance. Only the owner of the assets can do that. I would look to see if he really signed it, or if the signature looks forged.

And if you live in a community property state, then they can't remove a spouse as a beneficiary without your written permission.

I feel for you . You could contact APS and tell them " You are Married and never got any Papers concerning conservatorship and court " Legally to get conservatorship all relatives must be Notified . You will find people Get greedy when Money is Involved and a Lot of Lying Occurs . I would contact a elder attorney - this is your Husband of 35 Years . APS maybe able to help you speak with him because you have that right to do so and they would have to prove they have the papers for conservatorship which I doubt . Please get some support In this matter . He is probably afraid of them . You Can Not give someone POA after you have been diagnosed with FTL By a Doctor. Get a therapist or elder services involved . You Can also Hire a Lawyer and Have a emergency Order granting a restraining Order to get Him Out of their House and also demand a Doctors exam . A Wife has More power then a Neice

You say your husband constantly tested "negative" for dementia yet, in the same breath, say he has "FTL" dementia which is actually FTD or Frontotemporal Dementia. You were working full time and leaving him alone, I guess, which is not a good thing to do with dementia, it's too dangerous. Did you hold POA for him? Did his family just come and take him out of your home one day w/o your knowledge? They must've felt he needed a lot more care than he was getting and they were willing to give it.

I don't understand your question, "Should I learn more about it and keep trying or learn how to move on with my life? I've been asked not to speak to him because it will be a setback for him." You're married to the man for 35 years. Are you okay never seeing or speaking to him again because his family says it'll be a setback for him? They've plowed their way into your home and removed your husband from it! If you're fine with that, then move on with your life. If you're not fine with all of this, call an Elder Care attorney about YOUR RIGHTS AS HIS WIFE.

Me? I'd have already learned everything possible about FTD and have thrown a huge fit about what my husband's family did. But I'm a fighter and an advocate for those I love.

Good luck to you.

There has to be more to this story, doesn't add up.

Are you married to him? Who has the DPOA?