And then he was gone.

I talked to dad Saturday night, my usual 7:00 p.m. call to my 93yo father five hours away living alone and still driving. He told me he'd had a fall a few days earlier, after coming home from his sister's funeral, but didn't want to worry me, so didn't tell me. Then he had a middle-of-the-night fall Friday/Saturday that had him trapped between a chair and a wall. It took him a good while to wiggle out. He decided to tell me this time. So we had "the talk." I told dad that for my peace of mind, I needed him to get a smart watch or a fall detection device. He was adamant that he did not want one.

Sunday, I got a call from his phone but it was a stranger who found him lying in the driveway after he fell getting out of his car. She called 911, then retrieved keys from his pocket and went into the house, found the phone, and dialed the number that called him the most. I am so grateful for her! He had laid there in the cold for over thirty minutes but no one could see him or hear him. It was a miracle she spotted him.

He broke his femur and they decided to insert a rod and some pins (screws?) on Monday. We packed and headed down, my sister and her husband also went down. We visited with dad, called in a priest for anointing of the sick, he joked with nurses and aides and doctors, but he was totally confused as to where he was and why. He came out of surgery still confused (maybe more because of the meds) and his numbers were excellent when we left.

At 2:00 a.m., I got "the call" followed by another saying the crisis was averted. At 4:00 a.m, another call. They had to intubate him (he had agreed to short-term intubation) and move him to ICU. My sister (a former nurse) said that this means we were going to have to choose to pull the plug, something she never wanted to face with family.

We stayed by dad's side and watched his numbers for hours. My sister finally said that even though he was on 100% oxygen, his number was dropping quickly. She told me that meant his brain was dying. My dad was a brilliant man and it made me sad to think of his brain slowly dying. We knew that the life ahead, if there were one, would not be what he wanted, and we chose to have them extubate him. Within minutes, he passed.

I started here on this forum back when dad was caring for mom after her stroke. She died in 2020. Dad became active again after COVID restrictions ended, even joined Planet Fitness! Saturday night he was at a chili cook-off, Sunday he dropped off tax papers to his account, and when he came home, he fell. He lived an active life, was known for his storytelling, had a wonderful career as a microbiologist / biochemist for a spice company, traveled the world for business and pleasure and then, just like that, he is gone.