How can I get paid for being a caregiver to my 29 year old son?

You probably won't. First, he is only 29. You don't say what is wrong with him. If he has not seen doctors for his problem then you have no paper trail. He is being turned down for SSI because he is not showing he has a disability. Thats the only way he can get it at age 29.

And you can collect SS disability without having work earnings. Many challenged children get it based on parents earnings when they turn 18. My disabled nephew, from birth, got it in his early 20s. He had not worked 10 yrs.

You cannot care for Mom find her a place. Your memory problems maybe caused by stress and caring for Mom will just add to that stress.

Your son needscto take advantage of what is out there. Whatvis he going to do if something happens to you.

Dear Linda, you have had a lot of problems, and you really don’t need to take on any more.

Reconsider caring for your 86 year old mother. She can receive care at the expense of the state. If you are not coping too well, the chances are that they will do it as well or better than you can.

You have been caring for your son at home for 13 years, since he was 16. If that was when he left school, there should have been some help available to get him into employment. You say that he has ‘anxiety, depression, mobility problems, and sleep disorder’, which may not qualify him for any type of pension or benefit. Perhaps that’s why he won’t leave the house to be assessed. Reconsider ‘caring’ for him.

You are very angry about your past employment, which is yet another problem.

See if you can get some counseling about how to go forward with your own life. When and if you sort out your own problems, you will be in a better position to help the rest of your family - if you want to.

Your son cannot qualify for social security disability without having enough work credits. There is a formula for determining work credits used by social security for this. If he has no work history, he will never receive disability, only SSI, supplemental security income, less than $1000/mo. I have an adult son with a brain injury. There has never been any program where I’m paid to help him. Fortunately, my son works as a cook in a restaurant. It’s a repetitious job and he excels in it. I’d advise your first step is getting your son to consent to going to get an updated medical and psychological evaluation. Make any help from you contingent on him doing this. For my son, we’ve done neuropsych testing. It has given us much valuable information on knowing truth on what he can and cannot handle. Knowledge is always power. I’d also hope you go back to work, you need to guard your own future, and have yourself cared for, as no one else will do this for you. I wish you well, this is a hard road.

I think we need more information on what going on with your son and why he can't leave the house.

I think the question should be how to get your son to live a productive life, and create less burden for you?

PeggySue2020, to get disability, he has to have some medical evidence that he is disabled. Since he won't leave the house to be examined (or for any reason), the government will not award him disability because they don't have his health info!

The fact that you say he could leave the house but is choosing not to is telling as well.

If he is not on ssdi, the government considers him able bodied.