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Mary444 Asked March 6, 2024

My father.

Yes I am still dealing with him, but I barely visit at this point I have been there 1 x in the past 2 weeks.


His neighbor in his second family house tried to help him in with groceries and he lashed out at her, she called him a mean man and left


She said he left some grocery bags on the walkway and she brought them up to his step


He is just plain heinous and selfish and makes comments about me and my husband.


Neighbor also said she noticed he treated my mother like garbage.


I knew he did but to hear someone else say it makes me sad. I know she should have told him to f off but she never did (and surprise surprise it wasn't just about you mom).


He is going to fall and go into a nursing home soon and my sister will lose her inheritance.

waytomisery Mar 12, 2024
Call APS and be done with it .

strugglinson Mar 12, 2024
seems like not much you can do right now, but wait, and see what ends up happening eventually. If every 2 weeks visit is comfortable for you, keep it that way.

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AlvaDeer Mar 12, 2024
It's time to get on with a quality of life that satisfies you and makes you happy, Mary.
Leave the old man in your dust.

Mary444 Mar 12, 2024
I agree I don't care about the inheritance at all.

letting my sister handle it is a good idea, she lives states away but so what

Anxietynacy Mar 7, 2024
Your family may loose your inheritance, but you gain your sanity. Which money can't buy

olddude Mar 7, 2024
Losing your inheritance will be a small price to pay for not having to deal with an asshole

JoAnn29 Mar 7, 2024
Mary's mother died last October. A week before her death, Mary's sister had Mom change her Will. Mary has no idea what the changes were and was asked by both parents to stay out of their affairs.

Mary at this point, I would call APS and let them evaluate the situation and allow them to take over Dads care. Give them sister's phone #. If she wants to preserve her inheritance then she can care for Dad.

Just curious, was Moms Will probated? What did Sis receive?
Mary444 Mar 12, 2024
Yes it was, it hasn't been finalized yet
Geaton777 Mar 7, 2024
Is anyone reporting this to the police or APS? He has dementia... it's progressive and only gets worse.

AlvaDeer Mar 7, 2024
I am so glad you are extricating yourself from a bad situation for which there is nothing you can do.
As to Sis's inheritance, you are correct. He will soon fall and family will get "the call". Hopefully then placement will occur and we can all do a boo-hoo over Sis's inheritance.

Beatty Mar 7, 2024
Mary, you lost your Mom, do I remember right? If so, big big (((hugs)))

As I heard a Doctor say once "Choose your nursing home or your family will".

This was said in a raised voice after (I presume) a reasonable level of conversation that went nowhere. It was not the 1st, 2nd or 3rd chat I believe...

Result. Family DID choose the nursing home.

strugglinson Mar 7, 2024
give us more details. is your mom living with him?
he may well fall. But why does that translate into your sister losing inheritance? due to cost of assisted living or nursing home? yes the costs do often eat up all the savings.
Mary444 Mar 12, 2024
No my mom passed away. AL or a nursing home will probably take a good amount of his money, oh well
Fawnby Mar 7, 2024
If your father is actually being abusive to your mother, you need to make sure she's safe. Calling APS might be one way to do that. Calling police and asking for a welfare check might be another way.

Abuse includes swearing, name-calling, yelling, withholding money, food or other necessities, not providing necessary care for her (neglect), hitting, punching, grabbing, any physical hurting, sexual assault, and a bunch of other things.
Mary444 Mar 12, 2024
No my mother passed away last October

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