My elderly Parents hate each other.

I have recently moved back into my family home for personal unrelated reasons and I've been horrified by the way my parents are living.

To cut a long story short, my parents very obviously hate each other and their ill health is making things worse. The atmosphere in this house is beyond horrible. My mother resists any help whatsoever (despite being very ill).

The house is a mess and the food she insists on cooking is unhealthy (and I mean it's like gruel). I have been trying to alleviate any unneccessary difficulties and i'm met with constant resistance.

My mother particularly is very aggressive and has become quite argumentative and insulting (I know it's her pain that is causing this but i'm stepping one egg shells).

My father keeps himself locked upstairs.

When I say this place is horrible I am not exaggerating. There is black stains on the washing mats, crap on the toilet (that they haven't noticed) and what is worse my Mother won't let anything touched because SHE has to do it, but she can't.

My Parents are constantly at each other's throats. My Mother spends most mornings crying in pain and everything is beyond unhealthy. They refuse to have disability aids (I bought them an invalid carrier and it's never been used - it might aswell be sold).

In their minds, they are both compus mentus (which they are) but it's like they are resisting each other, resisting help. Frankly I don't know what I'm doing here anymore.

I cooked food yesterday and my Mother refused to eat hers because SHE hadn't cooked it herself and gave it to us the next day and proceeded to cook the next day (despite being in extreme pain).

To add to the issue, I have long been convinced that my Father has mental health issues and he seems to have resigned himself to just accepting this mess that they are both living in. I try and help if and when I am "allowed" to but I am often met with, "no I can do it myself!"

To be frank and honest, they need help. My father said he'd rather be shot than go into a home and my mother doesn't seem to understand that she can't do anything anymore. I feel like i'm living in some toxic environment. Since being here, I spend most of my time upstairs.

My mother can't get off the sofa, can't go to bed. I honestly don't know how she cares for herself. My father is equally unable to do things. It took him two hours to get out of bed so I could help him put cream and things. They insist on shopping, going to the doctors etc on their own and they're literally driving themselves to death.

I really don't know what to do and would appreciate any advice/help/guidance or words of comfort.