My 88-year-old mother says she can’t remember how to answer the iPhone she has had for many years.

My Mother forgot how to use the clothes line. It was found she had a stroke.

Another time UTI caused change in behaviour.

Kidney function or diabetes are listed on your profile as issues. These can be factors. Or there may be more going on. Has your Mother seen her Doctor recently?

Your mom is most likely losing cognitive ability. When that happens, it's not at all unusual for them to forget how to use a phone, a remote control, a microwave oven, even a toothbrush. One skill after another goes by the wayside.

Make sure she gets tested, but in the meantime, this is a time for you to become concerned about her safety. She may not be able to understand, for instance, how to work the coffeemaker anymore. That could be disastrous. Some things I've caught my LOs doing, even toward the start of dementia: Plugging the wrong end of the electric shaver charging cord into the wall outlet. Combing toothpaste out of the toothbrush with their comb. Trying to cut the weeds in the yard with a wet-dry vac. Putting arthritis salve in a spoon preparatory to eating it. Unplugging lamps at the wall outlet instead of turning them off with the switch at the top, which they didn't know existed anymore. Eating small leaves picked up outside the front door. Not knowing how to turn on the vacuum cleaner and bewildered with how to hold the cord as they vacuumed. Note: All of these people would have appeared perfectly normal to a casual acquaintance or family member who wasn't around regularly.

You can understand from what I'm describing that there comes a time when you must safeguard a LO by ensuring they're never alone. That time may be here for your mom. She's giving you signs. Take them seriously.

"Oh, my LO still knows my name and she drives herself to the mall!"

Doesn't matter. And she probably shouldn't be driving.

Even though I am pretty sharp, look out trivia game shows here I come, newer technology has become overload for the older generation. The KISS rule is out the window when it comes to using such devices.

Example, phone rings, the old landline you just pick up the receiver. Easy. It's been part of our lives for 80 years. I still have landlines in every room. I know where the phones are. No re-charging. No butt dials. Easy to read numbers to dial.

I don't answer my iPhone anymore. Had no problem with the flip phone, nor the big old brick style cellphone from decades ago. Those were easy. Clarity was good. If I wanted the internet, I used my desk top. Typing on it right now, yep a full size keyboard.

The clarity of current cellphones calls gets a poor rating. If one is young and had never used a landline to landline call, you would be shocked at how clear that call would be. And no background noise. Cellphones pick up the tiniest of background sounds which overtakes the caller.

Don't forget, when one gets older, one's hands tend to ache. Holding a cellphone to one's ear can be painful compared to holding a landline receiver. Our hands weren't design to hold something designed like a calculator to our ear.

Don't get me started on turning on a TV. Gone are the days when someone would call and say "quick, turn on the TV" :P

Dpoulos40, is highly recommend you get landline phones for your Mom. Yep, stores still sell landlines, and the price/usage cost is way cheaper.

Finally a question with a really easy answer.

Go over to Mom's house. Tell her how to answer her phone. Tell her this, also:
"Mom, you are usually great with your phone, and if you can't remember now how to use it we need to take you to Doc next week for a cognitive exam, and see if we need to refer you for a neuro-psyc exam. I am terribly worried about this new change".

Then next call you go ahead and make the appointment with Doc and get your answer.
Hoping for the best for your Mom.

Though you don't mention it in your profile you have listed your question under Alzheimer's & Dementia, so I suspect you already know that your once mentally sharp mother is now suffering from some mental decline/dementia.
Everything you are describing are all signs of someone with dementia, and you being in denial about that will only hurt your mother and make things harder.
Perhaps it's time to have your mother tested for dementia, so you know what kind you're dealing with and then you need to educate yourself about this horrific disease, as it only gets worse, never better.

My late husband who had vascular dementia first forgot how to use the microwave, and then the TV remote, and of course things went downhill after that.
So give your mother a break as it sounds like her brain is now broken and until you can get her to the doctor to be tested, perhaps placing inexpensive security cameras around her home, so you can look in on her will make you feel better.
But know that if in fact she does have dementia, it won't be long that she won't be able to live by herself anymore, so start now getting those "ducks in a row" so you're better prepared.

yes, it’s possible. Is she known to lie, be manipulative? Perhaps she has found this as a way to get out of trouble with you.

Take some time and write the steps out for her on a piece of sturdy paper.
Keep a copy of it in your phone. Have her go through them while you are there.

Install cameras so you can reassure yourself that she is fine when she doesn’t answer.

Make sure she sees others beside yourself on the regular.

Just read Geaton’s reply. The phone/remote confusion was apparent for my DH aunt. But it was a landline portable phone and looked more like a remote. A smartphone not as easy to confuse but not the easiest things to answer if memory has slipped back a notch or two.

My MIL would do the same thing on have you eaten, etc. Describe great dinners she had just eaten, (not).

Apparent Competence. Great description.

Has your Mom ever had a cognitive or memory test?

When my MIL was losing her memory, the first ability that "broke" was the use of the tv remote. Then, the microwave, the oven, taking meds properly, paying bills, managing her checkbook... The oven blew me away because that's definitely in her long-term memory, but apparently now was too complicated a task.

We never realized how bad it was until she was out with us in public and she was faint. When we took her home and checked things out, we realized she hadn't eaten as there was rotting food in her fridge and no signs of food prep or waste or dirty dishes. This is after I had called her and asked if she ate and what she had. She told me, and she believed it herself but it wasn't true.

Then in the cognitive exam, which she did poorly on, we realized that she knew how to "fudge" a conversation by responding in generalities if we asked her general questions: "How's it going?" She: "Fine!"... "Whatcha been up to?" She: "Oh, not too much."

But if you asked her what day it was, or season, even if she looked out the window, she couldn't tell you. The social worker said this is Apparent Competence. They're not doing it to play with you, but to get by. They know something is up, but can't express it, or are afraid to express it or don't even realize it.

With three people with cognitive decline that I'm close to, the first *obvious* ability they lost was managing the contacts in their smart phones. I'd call and they'd be like, "Who is this?" Then they'd make up all sorts of reasons why their contacts were messed up. Then they'd go on to call me but not know who they were calling, or calling me and not remembering why or calling me at odd hours or with paranoid thoughts.

Please be patient with your Mom. Unless she has a long history of manpulation, she's probably now got a breaking brain. Hopefully she as a PoA. If it's you, read the document to see what triggers the authority. Then get her tested and be in the room when they do it so you don't have to rely on her "remembering" what was done and said.

I wish you success in helping her get the care she needs.