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john1982 Asked March 18, 2024

I have a question regarding how DSS is handling my grandmother's situation.

My grandmother has been living with my aunt and uncle for several years. She is 84 and has slight dementia. Otherwise, she is self sufficient. She can go to the bathroom, bathe, get dressed, play cards, open and unlock doors and make her own food etc. Her doctors as a precaution don't want her living by herself but have never said that she can't be alone for short periods of time. One day my aunt called Social Services to ask about information regarding resources to help with her care when the time comes that grandma may need it. The day that the social worker showed up at the house, she said she knocked on the door but no one answered. The social worker saw grandma through the window (sitting on the couch during one conversation, and sleeping in her bed in another conversation). She kept knocking on the door and could not get grandma to answer. (Grandma is hard of hearing). The social worker then tried to call my aunt but did not get an answer. (My aunt had left for a doctor's appointment). The social worker then calls the police and they break into the house. The locks on the door of the house require a key to unlock from the inside or outside (which my grandmother knows how to do and has done before). The social worker claims that they were not able to quickly find the key to unlock the door from the inside of the house and is saying that this is an unsafe environment for grandma due to that fact. (The key has always been located by the kitchen door on the counter. (The same key opens all doors leading to the outside of the house). The social worker then has grandma taken to the ER where they evaluated her and said her vitals and health are good (no signs of any injuries or issues). The social worker then refuses to take her back home and forces her to stay in the ER where she has been since March 5 or 6. The social worker said "I have nowhere else to put her". She said they require someone else to take "guardianship" over grandma. I asked her if the locks issue is corrected so as to comply with the concern of safety, could she then be taken home. The social worker said "we are not entertaining that at this time.". They can't admit grandma to the hospital or put her in a nursing home or assisted living place since there is no medical need. The ER has said "there is no reason for her to be here". My grandmother has requested to go home several times. This seems to be an "overkill" response to this situation by an overzealous social worker. I also think that this tramples on Grandma's rights and freedoms. What can be done to resolve this situation?

cwillie Mar 18, 2024
The main "concerns" can easily be solved by changing the locks and getting a doorbell system adapted for the hard of hearing. Also you/they can't force guardianship over a competent person and a simple SLUMS test administered at the hospital should determine any loss of capacity - BTW, if you have any doubts about it don't use their doctor, rather take her to an independent gerontologist if at all possible. If she's found competent great, and if she's not you will need to make some plans about your next steps.

Fawnby Mar 18, 2024
The door locks at the house where Grandma lives require opening with a key from inside and outside. She was left alone and didn’t hear the SW’s knock, so that’s problem one. If she can’t hear someone at the door, she’s in danger because it could be police warning to evacuate because of a problem, such as fire or a shooter. The SW saw Grandma inside sleeping. That’s problem two. She should not be visible in her sleeping vulnerable state to anyone who happens to knock. SW and police broke in. That’s problem three. If they had been robbers, Grandma would have been unable to defend her property or herself. SW couldn’t find key to unlock door to get out. Problem four, Grandma may have misplaced it (common with dementia) and couldn’t escape if there were an emergency.

And so on. It’s common sense that she shouldn’t be left alone even for short times. But she was. That’s lack of judgment by those who are supposed to be caring for her.

Blame aunt and uncle. The ER can’t possibly discharge her to more of the same for fear of getting in trouble for putting her back into the same insufficient situation.
ElizabethAR37 Mar 18, 2024
I agree that it needs to be determined whether grandma was actually in danger--or not. If she can perform ADLs without assistance and can let herself in and out of the house, it would seem to me that the social worker may have either intentionally or inadvertently overstepped in this case. I would be VERY upset if such a person decided to have the police break into my home and remove me under similar circumstances, especially if the ER doctor(s) subsequently assessed me as in good health with no issues. (I'm 87. I close the blinds when taking a nap and wear hearing aids during the day.)

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AlvaDeer Mar 18, 2024
I agree with Geaton. Whether an overzealous new Social Worker is the problem or not, what you now have is a situation in progress in which decisions are going to be made without your input. I think that because you do not have POA for grandmother that this is a problem in which you should have legal representation of an Elder Law Attorney.

You need to decide if you WANT guardianship, and are capable of doing this very difficult job. Because clearly Grandmother is not now being released on her own recognizance. That means doctors have adjudged her as not clear enough to be safe alone anymore. They believe she needs 24/7 care.

Good luck and I hope you'll update us on this complicated thing where you reached out for help and things went South from there.
Do you know how to do guardianship? Are you willing to be signing on all her bills and keeping all records of her funds; do you want to assume 24/7 OR see that she is safely placed in care? Are you living in her home, or is she in yours?

It sounds to me as tho the state has already taken on temporary emergency guardianship and have opened a case in which SOMEONE is going to be guardian over grandmother pending complete neuro-psyc exams. That may be the state and you take over if you are capable and wish to, or that may be the state period, at which point you will have nothing to say about her placement, her assets, or much of anything else.

I think you need an attorney dependent on where this now goes. If she is placed, that means they are taking control.
john1982 Mar 18, 2024
My aunt has medical POA for her.
mstrbill Mar 18, 2024
I just wanted to add something about Guardianship. If Grandma has significant assets (owns property free and clear, has savings well into the 6 figures), somebody in the family may want to take on guardianship. That is when it is worth it, because otherwise if the court appoints someone else, that someone else will be in control of the money and where grandma goes. If she doesn't, and just lives off a SS check, guardianship is not worth it or recommended.
Geaton777 Mar 18, 2024
In the case of my SFIL and the county's guardianship for him, when he passed they had to give us a full accounting of where his money was spent, in a long printed report for us to review.
KNance72 Mar 18, 2024
Be careful of the guardianship angle . Get a Lawyer involved and change the Locks . A lot of elderly people do not hear the door or phone- perhaps some hearing aids .
Geaton777 Mar 18, 2024
Changed locks will not deter the county social services if they feel someone inside is being neglected or endangered. I do agree they should consult with an attorney. I agree hearing aids would have been helpful -- when she was cognitively able to take the hearing test and respond accurately. I think that ship has sailed.
Geaton777 Mar 18, 2024
As mandated reporters, this social worker may be a new, enthusiastic one, or else concerned about neglect, which is something they must report. One person's casual, minimal caregiving arrangement is another person's case of neglect and endangerment.

If Grandma never created a PoA, and she doesn't have a diagnosis of dementia (which normally would trigger the PoA's authority) then it's possible the county is getting ready to assume guardianship for her.

Even if Grandma can be extricated from her ER, it still doesn't solve the problem of her not having a PoA and maybe now beyond capacity to create one. This leaves 2 options: "someone" in the family pursues guardianship or the county moves for guardianship, both through the courts.

Now that Grandma is on their radar, they may not let this go. I would talk to an elder law attorney if I were you. This is a very unusual situation and depending on your home state, the rules governing this situation may be different than others.

I have to ask: as Grandma's dementia worsens... what is the family's plan to care for her 24/7 if she eventually, truly cannot be ever left alone?
john1982 Mar 18, 2024
My aunt is a stay at home wife. Between her and my uncle, someone is always home. This just doesn't seem right that they can just bust into the house and take someone. DSS has never been involved in any way with my grandmother and she is not incompetent at this point. She is very much alert and aware but the social worker is proceeding as if grandma is incompetent. Per her doctor and the ER, she is not.
mstrbill Mar 18, 2024
This is so bizarre (I believe you though) and it shows how much disparity we have in this country with seniors getting help. We see many posts here from people who are begging for help because they can't take care of their loved ones at home any more by themselves. Seniors that are much worse off than your grandmother. Many of these posters would love to be in your aunt and uncles shoes, yet social services in their case is either slow to act or doesn't act at all. Yet here, we have a senior that is not even close to the stage of needing full time NH care being taken away.

I feel bad for grandma, because currently it appears she's OK to live at home, but my advice would be now to let the social worker deal with it. Don't take on guardianship because that requires a huge responsibility in care, commitment, time and money. If grandma does have dementia, it is going to get worse, and if she were to go back home, your aunt and uncle will soon be in over their head and begging for help, and that is when it often is so difficult to receive any. That's my advice, leave it to the SW to figure it out now.

BarbBrooklyn Mar 18, 2024
I think Grandma needs a lawyer.

You could also call your local elected representative's office. They have specialists in aging issues.

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