My mom doesn't recognize me today. She thinks I'm an imposter and that the real me is in danger. She won't calm down. What do I do?

Gracie56: I'm glad to read your update further down this thread that your mother is back to normal.

My mother had dementia, and was consistently insisting there was a double of her caretaker. She would always ask where the other one was; she would not believe that the one in the room with her was the real caretaker. And she got very scared, and worried that the other caretaker had been kidnapped, or that something bad had happened. On the advice of a doctor, we bought an omega-3 oil that came in a smoothie form at our health food store. I was shocked it made a difference. As long as she took the oil consistently, most days she did not have a problem with thinking there was a double of her caretaker. We used Barlean’s omega 3 smoothie oil; my mom liked the mango peach flavor best, but we often got the lemon flavor as the mango was out of stock. It tastes great. Ask your doctor, but it’s very safe, and who knows? Maybe it will do the trick.

Update: Mom is back to normal today. Her caregiver came over, I left to run errands and have some time to myself, and mom carried on with her normal routine while the caregiver was there. Thank you everyone for your suggestion and support. I think the surprise, extended visit with my brother just really threw her off.

Maybe she can be given something to calm her. With any dementia change will effect them. Too many people is not good. The length of time for the visit should be considered to. No more than a hour if that long. If you see she is more confused or anxious, then cut the visit short. Don't ask "Do you know who I am" say "Mom its Sally" No questions they need to search their minds for an answer. They have lost that ability. Just talk to them.

If small children are there, remove them if they seem to upset her. My grandson was 3 when Mom entered an AL. She and the residents loved seeing him. But he was a go go child so I did not stay long.

It is difficult to know if she is progressing in disease or if this is stress but one thing you must be CERTAIN of is that it is not a UTI. You can get test sticks for nitrites and leukocytes from drug store. If they are positive you need to get a urine culture into the lab (call your MD).

If she is well, then it will be some days before you know if this is permanent or not. Given the circumstances and the suddenness I suspect she will be back to her normal level, but do know that this IS the future and you may be looking at a time when LTC needs to be considered.

Hope you will update us.

I feel for you. One time when I went to visit my grandmother with dementia (who I had been caring for prior to the NH), I said, "Hi Grandma, it's Lily" and she screamed "LILY DIED IN THE FIRE!" in front of my son who was 3 at the time. I had to cut my visits way back, but she did have regular visitors who ensured she was receiving proper care, even if we were not able to speak to her directly sometimes.

A change in an ALZ persons schedule will upset them. You will need to let your brother know that in the future when he wants to visit that it should be only one person at a time and they should go with you. Also, he should come in after you, then leave before you. This way you have time to prepare her and calm her down for this visit. This is the way I did it with my daddy because all he wanted was me. Even though he had been with the caregivers all day he wanted me in the middle of the night. Blessings and prayers for you and your family.

Encourage her to drink fluids so she's not dehydrated.

Consider she might have a UTI and have her tested.

I have no idea what to tell you other than speaking to her doctor.

Is she on any meds for agitation? If she isn’t I would ask her doctor to prescribe something for her to calm down.

So sorry that you are having these issues. Wishing you peace.