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markTS1970 Asked March 23, 2024

Mom’s cat needs to be put to sleep. Mom has advanced dementia. Is it better to tell her or not?

Should mom know the cat has to be put to sleep? She doesn’t see the cat much as he hides in the basement. Family would like the vet to come to the house and put the cat to sleep in front of mom. I think it’s bad for her memory but will relive seeing this? Any suggestions?

funkygrandma59 Mar 23, 2024
No offense, but your family are idiots for wanting to have the vet come to moms house and put her cat down in front of her.
Just take her cat to the vets and have it put down there, and if mom asks about her cat, you just tell her that he/she must be hiding in the basement. And you tell her again and again that same answer anytime she asks.
And you can always buy her one of those life like battery operated cats that she can have sit on her lap and will purr when she rubs it.
Anxietynacy Mar 23, 2024
💯
golden23 Mar 23, 2024
Family is not thinking of what's best for mom. Quietly do what has to be done away from the house and let mom be spared the pain of losing her pet. If she asks where her pet is just be vague and redirect her,
markTS1970 Mar 24, 2024
Wish they would have done this, but they decided against what I thought was best and did it selfishly their way at the house.

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Hothouseflower Mar 23, 2024
Don’t create a problem where there isn’t one. If she doesn’t see the cat much I wouldn’t tell her. Euthanize the cat at the vet’s office.
markTS1970 Mar 24, 2024
They wouldn't listen to me,, vet came to the house and did it. I am appalled at their behavior of doing this to our mom.
Geaton777 Mar 23, 2024
Her family doesn't understand dementia. At all.

Anxietynacy Mar 23, 2024
I definitely wouldnt tell her. Or let her be thee.

BurntCaregiver Mar 23, 2024
What do you think? Does it sound like a good idea to you to tell your mother with dementia that the cat is going to be put to sleep then have her watch this procedure?

No. Your mother should not be told and certainly she should not watch.

It never fails to shock me when grown adults have to ask a question like this. Really it does.
Anxietynacy Mar 23, 2024
Well we are on the same page, with this one
JoAnn29 Mar 23, 2024
All my Cats had to be put to sleep. And each one I was with when the needle was given at the vets. Its not something that an old lady with Dementia should be forced to watch. He probably is keeping to the basement because he is dying. Animals go off to die. Just take him to the vet and if she asks about the cat, tell her he must be in the basement.

freqflyer Mar 23, 2024
Curious, why does your Mom's cat need to be put to sleep? Of course he is hiding in the basement as the cat no longer recognizes his/her owner due to your Mom's advanced dementia. Your Mom has become a stranger to him.

Have a Vet check the cat for any illnesses, then take the cat to a local no-kill animal shelter or cat rescue group. Even senior cats find new homes. Many years ago we adopted a 12 year old cat from the shelter. Our current one was 9 when he came here to live.

Geaton777 Mar 24, 2024
I'm sorry you and your Mom had to endure this very poor decision. Who is your Mom's PoA? This is the person who really was legally responsible to make this decision. If you are the PoA, then know that this may be the first of many disagreements with your siblings over care issues. Nonetheless, the PoA does what is best for your Mom, and not what makes her children "feel good". I wish you all the best on this journey.
markTS1970 Mar 24, 2024
No I am no longer her POA, Her documents were redone when my sister took her to a new lawyer and made her medical and financial POA.

I thought the idea of it was to do what was in the best interest of mom, but I don't really think doing this at her home was good for her at all
Anabanana Mar 24, 2024
No! If he is at end of life and suffering, quietly have the cat euthanized without her knowledge. Leave his dish where it sits and never ever mention him. If she inquires, say something vague like “I fed him this morning.” etc. If her dementia is advanced, it is very unlikely she will process the passage of time re: his age, his health, the logic of euthanizing him, and may think the cat is being murdered. Do not put her through such an awful experience!
Anabanana Mar 24, 2024
Sorry, our posts crossed. I just read that they already did it. Frankly, I am appalled.
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