A dear older (74) friend's driving rights were revoked due to seizures, late in life Epilepsy diagnosis.
Thankfully, Rx meds appeared to have controlled the seizures. Now many months later, it may be possible for said friend to have their driving rights restored (IF, big IF) the neurologist signs off. The friend w/o driving rights has no spouse -- never married -- no adult kids in picture, and no family nearby either. No immediate folks for the MD to check w/or otherwise involve/ask.
AND NOT like any of the friends in the "friends group" of this person has any legal duty or powers (no POA or other thing) to "involve themselves" with this. That said those in the "friends group" all think the friend w/o driving rights really should NOT be driving! The individual will NOT wear glasses even through it is required. The person can barely see correctly just sitting and trying to read something, much less driving, The person cannot walk well, is very unbalanced. And the person is having cognitive issues (maybe MCI). But the person can "fake things well," as they are very smart, well educated.
Should anyone in the friend's group confidentially send a note to the MD explaining the myriad of concerns herein? One the one hand, if shared with the friend in question, this could fracture the relationship with the friend in the "friends group". And on the other, if nothing is said to the neurologist confidentially, AND driving rights were restored AND THEN something awful happened (bad accident or worse); all in the "friends group" would feel awful.
What to do? Anyone have advice on how best to decide on conveying concerns confidentially to the neurologist OR just trust the judgment of the MD?
4 Answers
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So, her having cognitive issues is the main problem. You need to report her to the DMV. They will most likely send her a letter telling her to come in for retesting. Whether she makes the appointment and shows up for that test is another story. No one in her friend group should tell her, remind her or take her.
It may be better to have a convo with her about being an "elder orphan" and needing a PoA so that she doesn't wind up as a ward of the county.
If she loses her driving privilege, hopefully her friend group will be willing to take her places.
If you are all such good friends, suggest to the others that you all help the sick friend get where she needs to go. She may be terrified of not being able to get to the doctor, stores, a park, a restaurant. Assure her that you'll help, then do it. It is hard to be an elderly woman and need to have a medical procedure, for instance, and have no one to take you and stay with you afterward.
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I would inform my friend that I am doing so.
Guess that would be the end of the friendship, but it may save a life or two as well.
You certainly can communicate this to her MD. However, the MD cannot discuss her with you due to privacy rights, so you would not know outcome of this.
My Grandson is a epileptic. His Dr. Informed DMV of his seizures and DMV sent my grandson a letter asking that he turn in his licence. In my State you have to be Seizure free for a year and have a doctor confirm this and that meds seem to be keeping it under control. You take that letter back to the DMV to have your licence re- issued.