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Lammy129 Asked March 29, 2024

How do my brother and I get a POA for my 85-year-old mother whose sight is failing and refuses to sign things? What do we do?

JoAnn29 Mar 29, 2024
If she is competent to make decisions you cannot get guardianship. If she won't assign someone POA thats her choice. What u may want to tell her, without assigning someone POA for Financial and Medical if there comes a time when she needs care and you can't do it, the State can take over. Meaning a stranger will be making decisions for her.

AlvaDeer Mar 29, 2024
You don't GET a POA. It is GIVEN to you. That is to say someone ASKS you to serve as their POA. They must be mentally competent to do so.

Please do research online as this is a big job. You serve to do the bidding of the person who gives you POA. That is to say you don't do as YOU wish, but as the Principal who appoints you asks you to do. When that person isn't competent LEGALLY anymore then you do what is in their best interest. You are beholden to keep track of every penny into and out of their accounts. The POA should be written by a good attorney or the banks will not accept it. You should know how to be on accounts, how to sign checks as POA and etc.

Many people suggest that you get a POA form online and have your elder sign it and get it notarized. Banks often will not accept such a document. First of all a notary attests only that the signature is the signature of the one signing, not that they are competent to sign a document. Especially in the case of someone who cannot see, banks would not accept such a document. They need a clear well written POA where an Attorney examined the person signing and the POA for competency. They are beholden to protect their depositors under the law. You can imagine that just anyone could otherwise waltz in with some bogus document.

You have some research now to do about what is POA is, how it should be done, and whether or not you are capable of handling the job.

If your mother is refusing to "sign things" can you tell us a bit more about what these "things" are?
Is your mother competent to make her own decisions or is she DIAGNOSED with dementia?
Best wishes to you.

Filling out your profile will help us to help you.
If your senior needs help, is blind and incompetent and refuses your help you may be looking at guardianship, but that is a huge job and costly to get.

Do know that it isn't wise for TWO people to do POA work. One should be the POA and the other named as "second" or successor in case the first is unable for some reason to serve. You otherwise open yourself to arguments and bickering that can change your family forever.

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Grandma1954 Mar 29, 2024
If she refuses to sign anything you can't.
You would have to become her Guardian.
That can be involved, expensive and time consuming.

Now, why will she not sign "anything"?
Have you explained that if something happened to her not having a POA will make it difficult for anyone to make decisions for her if she can't?
Have you explained that if there is no one to make decisions then a Court will appoint a stranger?
Maybe those thoughts might get her to thinking.

All that said...If it is your mom that you are taking care of that has dementia, the person mentioned in your profile....
If she has been diagnosed with dementia and you take her to an attorney to sign ANYTHING and the attorney does not think she is capable of understanding the documents that she is going to sign then they will not allow her to make anyone POA. At that point either you or your brother would have to become her Guardian. (easier for any number of reasons to have only one appointed Guardian.)

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