I recently moved my mom and dad into assisted living because my dad was suffering from dementia and my mom was struggling to offer the proper care. They each have their separate rooms in anticipation that my dad would need to be moved to memory care. They have only been in the community for 6 months, and I'm now told that he needs to be moved into the memory care portion of the community. Does anyone have suggestions on the best way to share this information and prepare him for the move? My mom is prepared, but the change will still be tough. Thank you in advance for suggestions.
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I simply told him I’d gotten him a better room and he never missed a beat. His short term memory was less than a minute at this point. There was absolutely no point in discussing the move with him. I would’ve gone through the scenario every five minutes.
I did make sure that all of Dad's beloved books had space in his new room in Memory Care. The room was smaller, Dad would joke it was his "college dorm room" :)
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Act like he got an upgrade and you are happy for him!
You tell him honestly. Do not expect that he will not exhibit grief, anger, denial, shock. This is tough stuff and it is well worth grieving and mourning.
You may request the admin to sit with you and discuss this with him, their inability to provide him with the care that he requires to keep him safe. This admin has experience in this and can make it clear that this is not an option, that his wife will be visiting, and that he will have the best care they can provide him.
Not everything can be fixed This is tough stuff. This will be painful in the extreme for all of you.
You can explain all you want and most likely he will not retain the explanation for a long term.
If at all possible could mom have him visit the MC unit a few times so he gets used to the staff and the residents.
Tell him "mom has to go to the doctor and you can stay here for a while"
A few visits and I am sure he will adjust better to being there full time.
Above is an article with tips for you to transition your dad from AL to MC.
Best of luck to you
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