My mom has dementia and is suffering from incontinence where she’s not aware it is happening. Any advice?

remove all of her underwear from the house and put the depends in her drawer like normal. Don’t make a big deal about them and call them her panties etc

Too bad if she doesn't like them. The only alternative to not having her in the Depends is to have her crapping and pissing all over herself, the floors, and the furniture. She will just have to get used to them.

Always Discreet brand comes in colours and looks a little more like underwear, I thought they were softer too.

There are a few medications that can help with bladder incontinence but really has to wear something like Depends. The incontinence underwear is very expensive, somewhere around $30 a pair. If she only has bladder incontinence they may be okay, but not for fecal matter. For my mother I replaced all of her regular underwear with Depends. She has dementia so when she complained about the Depends, I told her she’d have to use them for now until I can get her some more underwear. She has since forgotten about regular underwear.

At this point it really doesn't matter if she likes the Depends or not, she MUST wear them or something similar.
You may have to do what I had to do with my late husband and that is throw away all her old underwear and replace them with her pretty new underwear(Depends).
And don't worry, she'll get used to them when that is all she has to wear.

Please use Depend Night Defense because they’re MUCH more absorbent & they can be worn all day.

Replace all her panties with Depends. Take all her underwear and put the disposables in the drawer. Try different brands and sizes to find one more comfortable. There are washable incontinence underwear. There are some cloth options with a pocket to insert a disposable absorbent pad. That might be the most comfortable and effective option.

The not liking it is irrelevant. You need to win that battle. This is a dictatorship - not a democracy.

What I do for my mother:

She wears Always Discreet Pullup Underwear - they're soft and come in pink if that helps.

Inside of the Pullup she wears Tena Sensitive overnight pad or Tena Sensitive Ultimate. They feel like cotton - very soft.

I change her pullup every morning and the pad every morning and evening unless it's soiled.

I use baby wipes from Walmart to clean her after every bathroom visit.

I use gloves 100% of the time because to me, pee and poop especially are bio hazards - even if it is my mother. Gloves also protect my mother from anything on my hands that could transfer to her.

She has had nary a problem - no UTI's or other issues.

It's only going to get worse. Be ready for her removing or ripping them off and having urine and feces all over the place. Adult diapers should be next. Good luck

You can try another brand. Just like underwear some brands fit differently than others and some may not be as soft as another.
another option (if it is a viable one) would be to use an incontinent absorbent pad rather than a full pull up brief. This might work if it is urinary incontinence but probably won't if it is fecal incontinence.
There are also washable absorbent underwear. some are more designed for light leaks others are more absorbent.