My elderly mom is the sole title holder of the property and is in need of financial resource for the following expenses: home repairs (roof replacement, termite treatments), near future caregiving expenses and basic needs (food, supplements, etc.). I have been covering financially any deficits in her income, which is just her SS for $1100/mo. We have a housemate and my dad (married to my mom) contributing towards the mortgage and utilities. However, it has come to a point where I am in need of recovering my financial expenses incurred for taking care of her and the household. I loaned about $50k over time for improvements in my mom's home to elevate its condition for better valuation in addition to recurring monthly expenses. Recently, she was approved for HECM reverse mortgage, which will help my mom tremendously to go forward with the needed roof repair and termite treatment. However the loan company wants my dad to attend the counseling and provide support documents (w-2s, bank statements, etc.). My dad does not want for my mom to go through the reverse mortgage, however in the past he attempted to do so on his own by giving my mom's SSN to the loan broker without her knowledge and permission. His reverse mortagage application did not materialize. He does have a long history of systematically manipulating her financially which consequently caused my mom to lose her IRA, her car, and other investments over time. It is quite difficult to explain this matter to the current loan provider who is ready to approve the HECM reverse mortgage for my mom. The primary reason my mom asked me to draft the DPOA is because of my dad's long standing propensity to overpower her financial decisions that proved to be detrimental to my mom over time.
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https://www.nerdwallet.com/search/beta?q=reverse+mortgages&page=1
"Cons of reverse mortgages
You could default — and potentially lose your home — if you don’t meet certain requirements.
With a reverse mortgage, you default when you fail to meet the ongoing requirements of the loan. That can lead to eviction and foreclosure, if unresolved. And it's possible to do this accidentally if you're not careful.
There are three main ways you might default:
Living outside the home for most of the year or failing to certify that your home is your principal residence each year.
Not paying property taxes or homeowners insurance.
Not making maintenance repairs to your home required by your lender.
If you don’t think you’ll be able to meet these requirements long-term, consider alternatives, such as selling your home and downsizing.
It’s not a good short-term option
Reverse mortgages are most helpful for long-term financing or income needs.
"If you need money in the short-term … and you’re going to be able to pay it off, then a reverse mortgage could be quite expensive," Moulton says. Specifically, she notes, the upfront costs for reverse mortgages are higher than other forms of borrowing, in part due to the federal mortgage insurance premiums.
For HECMs, the initial mortgage insurance premium due at closing is now generally 2% of the house’s appraised value. While you can use your loan to cover the cost, that would reduce the amount of money you receive.
You could potentially keep more of your home equity and meet your financing needs by borrowing money in a different way. Good short-term financing options include credit cards, personal loans, home equity lines of credit (HELOCs) and home equity loans (HELs).
Heirs may not be able to keep the home.
With HECMs, here's what will happen to your home when you die: Your heirs will have to pay either the full loan balance or 95% of the home’s appraised value, whichever is less. They can do this by paying out of pocket or getting financing, selling the home or turning the home over to the lenders to satisfy the debt.
If heirs aren't able to buy back the home, the home wouldn't remain in the family. But for many these days, that's not a top concern.
'Honestly, we’re not seeing as much of that as we did in years gone by,' Boies says, referring to borrowers who want to pass down family homes to heirs. 'And it doesn’t seem to be much of a hindrance for folks taking out a reverse mortgage.' "
Source: https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/mortgages/reverse-mortgages-pros-and-cons?trk_location=ssrp&trk_query=reverse%2520mortgages&trk_page=1&trk_position=0
Reverse Mortgages are complicated. Your Mom has to live in the house, if she dies or goes into care the mortgage will be called in.
If I had been your Mom, if I could not afford the upkeep on the house anymore, I would have sold it. Taken the proceeds and got a nice apartment or even a trailer.
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It involves loans you have made and require compensation for, the said loans having we cannot know what sort of contract.
It involves a husband apparently separated but paying some support by legal decree.
It involves title and application for reverse mortgage for someone whose future LTC needs cannot now be known.
It involves DPOA.
I think that it is time for you to make an appointment with a good attorney who can advice you on this.
This is all so complicated I can't even decide whether you should see elder law or trust and estate person (I think the former).
When considering a reverse mortgage you need a whole lot of information, and need to know your options. But you ALSO need to know the rules of reverse mortgages in general and your own company in particular. For instance, should mom ever require placement in LTC payment of the mortgage loan immediately due. Needing that kind of money at one fell swoop means immediate sale of the home to pay the mortgage. And that's just ONE complication, because they often give the elder too much income to qualify for financial aid at the same time they don't give ENOUGH income for LTC.
Please see an attorney with your Mom and your Dad so that you all can get ALL QUESTIONS answered. Take list of assets with you. You need solid legal advice.
I wish you good luck, but we as a Forum of strangers, I fear, will simply add confusion to an already very confused situation.