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Bonnie48 Asked April 7, 2024

How to deal with LO waking me in middle of the night?

He was very angry, turning on overhead lights every hour, asking me angry questions, like What is your full name? Why are you here?

AlvaDeer Apr 7, 2024
Clearly your husband has severe dementia.
Sleeping disorders are not uncommon.
You should discuss this with the doctor.
You may be, sadly, looking at the time when it is no longer possible to do 24/7 care in the home.
I am so sorry and I wish you the best of luck.

BurntCaregiver Apr 11, 2024
It's time for memory care. In the meantime have the doctor prescribe sleeping medications for him. Also, of you have not done so already, you start sleeping in a different room, and lock him in at night. If he is this far gone with dementia and comes charging in angry and demanding to know who you are, he may be capable of serious violence against you.

Sedation and he gets locked in his bedroom at night for your safety and his. Then look for a memory care facility.

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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 11, 2024
How much longer do you think that you will be able to tolerate this behavior?

Look into placing him before you totally burn out.

What good will you be for yourself or the person that you are caring for if you can’t function due to lack of sleep?

NorasDaughter Apr 13, 2024
My mother used to do this. She became this other person in the middle of the night and it scared me. I was afraid she might try to hurt me while I was sleeping and I started to worry about my own safety. This was when I decided I’d had enough abuse and she needed to be in a nursing home.

funkygrandma59 Apr 7, 2024
Sounds like your LO has capgrass syndrome and forgets exactly who you are, and believes that you're a stranger in his house.
Be very careful as homicide is very prevalent with folks suffering from capgrass, so don't hesitate to call 911 if you feel unsafe at any point.
You may have to sleep in a separate bedroom and lock your door.
And of course if things get worse you will have to have your LO placed in the appropriate facility.

Llamalover47 Apr 13, 2024
Bonnie48: It sounds as though your LO is not of lucid mind. He may require residence in a managed care facility. YOU cannot endure endless sleep deprivation.

NancyIS Apr 13, 2024
Dementia is different for everyone, but some forms show up as anxiety, hostility, non-recognition of loved ones, etc. Speak to his doctor about these symptoms and ask for advice on how to handle it. Some medications can be calming and can help him sleep through the night. If he gets violent, please consider moving him to a memory care residence. Learn as much as you can about what to expect with dementia. All the best to you and your LO!

Maloneym2 Apr 13, 2024
This sort of thing has happened with my husband, maybe once a month over the past year. “Why are we here? I need to go home or to work . . . “. He stomps around, slamming doors, etc. It might be an extension of Sundowner syndrome?
Bonnie48 Apr 13, 2024
Thanks. Our one experience was in the middle of the night. I wish you safety.
strugglinson Apr 13, 2024
Was this just a one time occurance? or is it repeating? Could be quite different answers depending on that

CaringWifeAZ Apr 14, 2024
I agree with the advice here to look for a Memory Care placement, to sleep in another room, and in the meantime, ask his doctor about Trazodone.
It was a miracle drug for my husband. He too was sundowning and would keep me awake all night, moaning and groaning and yelling for help. In his case, he was unable to get out of bed, so I didn't feel in danger, and he couldn't leave.
The trazodone helped to calm him so he would sleep peacefully at night.
Now, I give him a Depakote and a Trazodone at bedtime. It puts him right to sleep.

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