The caregivers are night-time people who either go to sleep or "step out" for a few minutes. My mother calls them to help her to the bedside toilet, and they don't hear her right away. So then she can't trust them. I think it is a legitimate reason for my mother to not want that caregiver again. I am using two different agencies to try to get consistent caregivers for her, but good caregivers seem to be in VERY short supply. Even our favorite caregivers have last minute situations where they can't come, and the agency scrambles to try to cover with someone Mother likes when they don't have enough people. My husband has had to do some night shifts at the last minute. I can no longer physically handle my mother's needs, so I can't step in any more. Anybody else having these problems with home caregivers?
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Short term , use other agencies if there are any .
You could try to hire privately from Care,com etc, but you may run into the same problem if they don't show up consistently.
I think it's time to start looking for a facility, so your husband doesn't have to fill in night shifts and your lives at home as a couple can be more normal.
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transitioning to AL was not easy, but better than having this fear of firing caregivers left and right.
For the situation you describe, if the only issue was not hearing her at night - then as others suggested, how about a baby monitor type thing so they should immediately hear her and wake up and respond? or if they are going to nap - why not set up a recliner chair for the caregiver right in her room?
indeed home care agencies are far from perfect but some are better than others. In my experience with them, a good agency should first try to intervene and solve issues rather than just fire the person. If they missed one call for help, they should suggest things like a baby monitor etc? Are there other agencies in the area you can check with?
you can try private caregivers but then oftentimes, if they call out sick, only you are the backup.
otherwise - AL may be the way to go at this stage
There is no "aging in place" when that "aging" means you need lots of help to accomplish that. Mom is no longer independent.
Or pursue placing her. That way she has a whole team 24/7 and can't fire anyone. That's what I'd want for her. At some point, home care no longer works.
"But Mom won't - " Sure she will, if she has no other choice.
I use to doze but set my phone alarm every hour, to check on them, but mostly so I never got into the deep rem sleep.
Not sure if it's possible to suggest that, or if your mom is complaining because she doesn't want help there
It may be time to consider placement in facility.