I thanked my mother’s wonderful caregiver in mom’s obituary and had her and her family present and acknowledged at the funeral. I had her over to the house to see mom before the funeral home took her. I had her over again days later to thank her, and to give her clothes and items she needed for her apartment. I wrote her a thank you note. I also gave her 2 weeks severance pay, which was quite bit of money.
Unfortunately, she has now fallen on hard times because she wasn’t working through an agency, and her husband doesn’t seem to work. She has asked me for money (I refused). I think she believes we are rich because of what we paid her. But we were really just draining mom’s life savings, and would have soon applied for Medicaid if she had not died. It is all a very sad situation.
Give each one of them a well thought out letter. In the letter tell prospective employers the person was a great help and enabled your dad to remain at home comfortable and safe. You do not need to go into personal detail but you can highlight some of the tasks that they did. Give your contact information if any more information is needed. A good caregiver is highly sought after and they will appreciate the reference letter.
As far a personal letter you can do that as well. If there are funds it would be appropriate to give a bonus. Your heart can be the guide on that but if you ever gave a holiday bonus that might be appropriate. Not knowing what they were paid it is difficult to come up with a number. As I said use your heart to guide you.
And side comment...if dad was on Hospice the Bereavement support that is offered would extend to the caregivers as well,. And that is offered, if I recall correctly, for 18 months.
It's really nice to hear words of recognition for your concern. Sometimes they turn out to be much more valuable than any material gifts. Although funny things can also be a great addition. It's important that your work is appreciated, and words of gratitude can really lift your spirits. It is wonderful that the family showed their appreciation even though you were unable to attend the funeral.
Thank You everyone for your truly helpful advice! I would not have survived without the wonderful people here willing to freely offer their time & guidance. Caregiving is by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I wish my father had not made it so difficult. But now that he’s gone, I cannot help but wish I had just a little more time with him.
When I did caregiving I liked to have one thing that I could remember them by. Wouldn't matter to me how small or silly.
One man and me took walks, on one of the walks I found a golf ball. I kept that to remember are walks, now when I dust of things I say to myself , oh that came from &:;+()$, and it makes me feel good.
Just be certain to give them in WRITING the many ways that they each collectively and individually mattered to him and mattered to YOU. These are things they take with them as part of their resume, and they will appreciate having it in black and white. This will not only remind them but it will help them in future.
As to the money idea, if that is affordable to you/for you, it is lovely, but I will tell you as an RN, it was knowing I made a difference for people that mattered, that I hold dear today at 81, that I never forgot. Money, in all truth, made me uncomfortable. It was something I was taught not to accept excepting in strange circumstances (I served at one time a large immigrant community and I worked maternity and delivery; for this community the giving of a "tip" on homegoing was good luck for their child, and needed to be accepted). I do think, however, that home care is different than in-hospital or in-facility.
How lovely he had wonderful care. My condolences on his passing. How wonderful you want to recognize his caregivers. You do him honor.
Perfect answer! When one of my clients passed, I was actually out of town and I didn't get to the funeral. Evidently, the family mentioned me in the eulogy, thanking me for countless hours of loving care. Even hearing that, after the fact, was so heart warming.
The pay for CG's a lousy and almost offensive, to be honest. So, kind words and acknowledgment of all you've given is really nice.
The family gave me several funny things that their mom had left for me.
Honestly, though? Just having the words of gratitude were better than anything.
Invite them to participate in the funeral or memorial service. Make sure they have transportation to the funeral or memorial service. Introduce them to dad's friends as "our dear caregivers, who helped dad and all of us so much." Mention them in the obit. "The family thanks 'Susie,' 'Hinda,' and 'Pamita' for their loving care of our dad." Give them money as a bonus. "Dad was so fond of you, and he'd want you to have this." If they need furniture, bedding, cooking utensils, or household items, invite them to have their pick before you get rid of it. If his hospice offers grief counseling, invite them to join you.
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Unfortunately, she has now fallen on hard times because she wasn’t working through an agency, and her husband doesn’t seem to work. She has asked me for money (I refused). I think she believes we are rich because of what we paid her. But we were really just draining mom’s life savings, and would have soon applied for Medicaid if she had not died. It is all a very sad situation.
In the letter tell prospective employers the person was a great help and enabled your dad to remain at home comfortable and safe.
You do not need to go into personal detail but you can highlight some of the tasks that they did.
Give your contact information if any more information is needed.
A good caregiver is highly sought after and they will appreciate the reference letter.
As far a personal letter you can do that as well.
If there are funds it would be appropriate to give a bonus. Your heart can be the guide on that but if you ever gave a holiday bonus that might be appropriate. Not knowing what they were paid it is difficult to come up with a number. As I said use your heart to guide you.
And side comment...if dad was on Hospice the Bereavement support that is offered would extend to the caregivers as well,. And that is offered, if I recall correctly, for 18 months.
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One man and me took walks, on one of the walks I found a golf ball. I kept that to remember are walks, now when I dust of things I say to myself , oh that came from &:;+()$, and it makes me feel good.
Not everyone is corny like that but I am.
Just be certain to give them in WRITING the many ways that they each collectively and individually mattered to him and mattered to YOU. These are things they take with them as part of their resume, and they will appreciate having it in black and white. This will not only remind them but it will help them in future.
As to the money idea, if that is affordable to you/for you, it is lovely, but I will tell you as an RN, it was knowing I made a difference for people that mattered, that I hold dear today at 81, that I never forgot.
Money, in all truth, made me uncomfortable.
It was something I was taught not to accept excepting in strange circumstances (I served at one time a large immigrant community and I worked maternity and delivery; for this community the giving of a "tip" on homegoing was good luck for their child, and needed to be accepted). I do think, however, that home care is different than in-hospital or in-facility.
How lovely he had wonderful care. My condolences on his passing. How wonderful you want to recognize his caregivers. You do him honor.
Perfect answer!
When one of my clients passed, I was actually out of town and I didn't get to the funeral. Evidently, the family mentioned me in the eulogy, thanking me for countless hours of loving care. Even hearing that, after the fact, was so heart warming.
The pay for CG's a lousy and almost offensive, to be honest. So, kind words and acknowledgment of all you've given is really nice.
The family gave me several funny things that their mom had left for me.
Honestly, though? Just having the words of gratitude were better than anything.
Make sure they have transportation to the funeral or memorial service.
Introduce them to dad's friends as "our dear caregivers, who helped dad and all of us so much."
Mention them in the obit. "The family thanks 'Susie,' 'Hinda,' and 'Pamita' for their loving care of our dad."
Give them money as a bonus. "Dad was so fond of you, and he'd want you to have this."
If they need furniture, bedding, cooking utensils, or household items, invite them to have their pick before you get rid of it.
If his hospice offers grief counseling, invite them to join you.