My mother, 97 years old, thinks I am the enemy. How do others handle this?

If your mother doesn't wish to see you then your appearing at the care facility will only serve to upset her.
If this behavior is sudden or new she needs to be checked for a UTI which can cause severe agitation and hallucination.

I am so sorry. This is a great tragedy, but it can be the face of dementia, and there's little to be done about it. Do check in with doctor and have a urine C&S requested.

I understand how you feel, but don't take it personally if you can help it, the ones who caregive are the ones they lash out on the most, but they also love us because they depend on us. They usually don't even remember what they say or do. HUGS

I agree with others who suggest she may have a UTI. How to get her checked... have a discussion with her facility, she may need to go by ambulance if the facility doesn't have some sort of testing kits (and hoping she cooperates).

I also agree she may now need meds for her anxiety and paranoia. This may mean she needs an a la carte additional service to administer them to her.

In my limited personal experience the paranoia doesn't last forever but there's no telling how long.

I also agree to limit the number and lengths of your visits. When with her, redirect or distract when she makes accusations or paranoid comments -- you will never convince her anyway so save your emotional energy. I'm so sorry for this... it is very distressing. It takes practice to remind yourself it is her disease and to not take it personally.

I will assume Mom has Dementia. If so, then really nothing you can do, you just need to except its the disease. You seem to be a trigger. She may need anxiety meds. How is she when ur not there. Dementia goes in stages so this maybe a faze.

If this has come in suddenly, it could be a UTI.

Did u place Mom recently, if so you are the bad guy. Caregivers in general are the bad guys. Because we now have to take on the parent roll and them the childs.

Although it's hurtful be thankful she is in a facility, you don't need to worry about her being on her own and suffering the consequences of her choices. Do as your doctor advises, you can still keep an eye on her from a distance and without her knowledge.