My sister stay with my mom, now she is in her right mind I might add. She’s 84. My sister her POA, can she control her car and finances?

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Chrissy1k Asked April 21, 2024

My sister stay with my mom, now she is in her right mind I might add. She’s 84. My sister her POA, can she control her car and finances?

My daughter got permission from my mother (her grandmother)to drive her car for a few. My mother know she has her car, even tell her make sure you take care of my car. My daughter communicates with her all the time we even took her out to eat in HER car and she’s fine. My sister said we taking advantage of my mom and she’s POA and going to call the authorities if we don’t bring the car back. Saying it’s not me or my daughter car. Which umm we know that. My mom gave her permission to drive it. My mom really don’t want my sister there for one say she gets on her nerves. She’s controlling and that she need to do something with her life. So, last night we dropped my mom
off from taking her out to eat and shopping. When I get ready to walk out the door my sister say “Oh do I need to move the car so you can put mom car in the garage? I said no. She said “Oh y’all going to leave it outside? I said no. Then she just went off and went off on her too and don’t regret it. What would y’all do in this situation?

Power of Attorney (POA) Relationships Siblings

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score 1 · Answer 1

Yes, its impossible to make yourself POA. Mom needs to assign someone. And better that a lawyer writes them up. Ask sister to show you the paperwork showing Mom assigned her POA. IMO you and siblings have a right to see it. Even if sister has POA, if Mom is competent she can assign someone new. When she does this, it revokes previous POAs. Like I said a lawyer would be the best route. There are forms on-line for your State. You will need witnesses and notary.

If Mom is competent, the POA is not in effect. Your sister has no say about Moms car. I think its nice Mom allows her grandchild to drive it as long as same child takes GM where she needs to go and does not take advantage of the privilege. I also hope, that the insurance company is aware that ur daughter is now the main driver and is paying for the insurance increase.

Why is sister living with Mom. If Mom does not want her there, then she can ask her to leave. Sister has no say when she is living in Moms house, IMO.

Helpful Answer (1)

Hi! Thanks for your response. Yes mom
is competent. Very. My sister just moved in without my mother consent. Quit her job and moved in. My daughter has been paying for the insurance though since she has been driving the car. The crazy part is my mom
was driving, going to the stores cooking doing everything. All of a sudden when my sister moved in she changed. She stated she haven’t been in the mood since she’s been there. My sister been very controlling since day one she likes to have her way.

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score 4 · Answer 2

Take mom's car back to her. Daughter can call an Uber if she needs to go somewhere.
I don't believe sister is POA because she can't make herself POA.

You and daughter need to untangle yourselves from bossy sister and your mom. Be the smart ones and call off the feud by not engaging. Mom doesn't need this drama.

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score 0 · Answer 3

Chrissy, you say in your update that your mother doesn't want you sister living with her
and DID NOT make your sister POA.
You say your sister made HERSELF POA.

You need to know that isn't possible.
If your mother is competent then she can change her POA tomorrow by seeing an attorney with you.
She can make her next stop an eviction attorney to kick your sister out of the house.

Those are the facts.

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Hi, yes she never just wanted her to be the POA but she just let her be since my brothers didn’t want to because of their busy schedules.
Everyday I talk to my mom she say my sister need to do something with her life and find somewhere to stay.

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score 0 · Answer 4

You and sister need to try harder to get along.
Your bickering will make a misery of your mother's life when she is at her most vulnerable.
To be honest, if there was contention about this car, I would leave it alone.
You mother made your sister POA. If she is smart she will take that from ALL the family now and get a fiduciary in order to prevent this bickering and questioning of every little thing she does.

Now to answer the question. If your mother has no dementia that makes her incompetent then a sister can do NOTHING with a POA she isn't specifically ASKED to do by your mother.
Look up the definition and tasks of POA. They are appointed by the principal (your mom) to act AT HER INSTRUCTION and ON HER BEHALF as she instructs them UNLESS she passes into incompetency in which case they are to act in HER BEST INTERESTS as they see them.

If you two sisters and the granddaughter are going to start NOW like this, splitting your mother in half when she is at her most vulnerable, making her CHOOSE-- then what will you do to her when she truly needs you? I can't imagine, and my heart goes out to her. I fear for her.

So, does mom have the right to let granddaughter drive the car (and is granddaughter insured to do so)? Likely answer is yes, mom has that right.
Do you want to keep all this bickering going about where a car is parked!!!???
That's for you to answer.

Get your own car and let your daughter drive it. Pretend Mom doesn't have a car. That's my advice to you. This isn't worth it and is setting up an absolute s-show for the future.
Be supportive of your sister who seems to have moved in in the interests of caring for Mom (I hope). Ask if they need groceries. Ask how you can help them. Take over a casserole.

I am sorry not to sound supportive of you, but I have to admit to you that the bickering of siblings over their failing parents just slays me. It really shatters me that this is done. Please forgive my bluntness and think about some things I have said.

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Hi, I appreciate all your thoughts and responses. Truly do. But my mother does not want my sister there . My mother never really said she wanted her the POA she just made herself that. . It’s not just me and my sister also, it’s 5 siblings in total. I have a car, that’s not the problem. My mother let my daughter use her car temporarily, my sister just like to be in control of everything she’s been that way since forever. My other siblings just ignore her.

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score 1 · Answer 5

If your mom is able to make her own decisions, then she can continue to do that and your sister's POA is not in effect. POA is only when your mom cannot make sense of things, for instance if she has dementia. However, it would be good if your daughter figured things out to get her own transportation and uses Grandma's car only for Grandma, like taking her to get groceries or out to dinner. That would solve the problem of your sister thinking you take advantage. Getting along with each other would be very helpful for your mom. She doesn't need conflict around her. Could you say to your sister that the car will be returned as soon as your daughter figures out transportation for herself and then make sure daughter does that.

Helpful Answer (1)

Hi, thanks for your response!
but no I’m done with my sister. She been to rude and disrespectful. But yes it’s 5 siblings in total and we all help my mom all the time. My daughter does take her to the store get her nails done whatever she wants if she need her to, but no I’m done with my sister.

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