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Sillywilly Asked April 22, 2024

My friend placed his mother in assisted living. We are in the middle of cleaning out her hoarding house.

Is it wise to bring her to the house while in The middle of cleaning?? What if she sees the garbage pile outside.. All her knick knacks are being boxed up, and her princess house crystals,boxes and boxes full.. Books up the @$$ that she hasn't read.. overwhelming big pile of messes in every room...

JoAnn29 Apr 22, 2024
I guess u got the point by now, No.

I would have an estate sale of her good stuff and furniture. For my MIL POA had one. He hired a woman to get everything set up. She took 30% of the proceeds and $300 to get the house cleaned for sale. My SIL and I cleaned out the trash. DH cleaned out magazines she hoarded. He did 20va bundle and the took up a carspace. I cleaned out the frig, expired stuff and her pantry of outdated food and spices. Straightened up the cabinets.

Midkid58 Apr 22, 2024
No, No NO!

Every single thing she sees, she will want. Hoarders have no sense of something that's truly usable and valuable and junk.

My mom kept 50+ years worth of Publisher's Clearing House envelopes, thinking that when she won, she'd have to prove who she was.

That's the tip of the iceberg.

She'll be mad when she does go back and see an empty house--so maybe don't ever take her back.

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imajwru12 Apr 22, 2024
No, I would not advise bringing her back into the home while her home is being cleaned. Horders usually have an anxiety disorder/compulsion to hoard. It becomes overwhelming for them to see others moving/handling their hoard. And seeing most of her things outside in piles of trash would NOT be healthy for her to see. I would just assure her that her valued possessions are being cared for and boxed up carefully.

LoopyLoo Apr 22, 2024
Don’t even think of bringing her!

Dawn88 Apr 22, 2024
NO!!!!

KNance72 Apr 22, 2024
No

LilyLavalle Apr 22, 2024
As other have said, absolutely not. I just wanted to weigh in with my support because I am currently cleaning out my mother's hoarder house. It is an absolutely monumental and overwhelming task. If my mother were here she would agonize over every item, even if ruined.

Since his mom is in AL maybe you could decorate her room with a few favorite pieces and give her some books, quilts, etc.

The goal is to empty - I donated books to our library book sale, personal care items to senior center, holiday items to church for upcoming holiday sales, and lots to Goodwill and other charities. I'm sure a lot could be sold if there was time to research items' values and advertise. But time is money, and overall selling hasn't paid off much with all the legwork.

I have had a lot of help, 2 x 30 yard dumpsters (in addition to 5+ we have had in the past), a huge estate sale, and it still looks like a completely overpacked house - just no longer a junk heap. I wish your friend and you the best.

ArtistDaughter Apr 22, 2024
NO!

ZippyZee Apr 22, 2024
There is literally no possible positive outcomes to bringing her. None.

AlvaDeer Apr 22, 2024
No, it would not be wise to bring her to the home as cleanup goes on.
It would in fact be dreadfully distressing to her.
Please do a little online research on Hoarding, which is now a diagnosis in the DSM-5.
There are also some excellent books out there on this complicated syndrome.
Best of luck to you.

Geaton777 Apr 22, 2024
No definitely do not bring her. She is a hoarder and her reaction to it won't be gratitude, it will be rage and distress. Don't even show her pictures of it. You can tell her a therapeutic fib, like you're only doing what the [ city, HOA, Dept of Health, etc ] has ordered you to do, but try not to even dwell on the topic at all. Redirect or distract the conversation. Hoarding is a mental disorder that requires therapy to overcome. Nothing about it is about hygiene, cleanliness, order or reason/logic.

The friend should be hiring a company that specializes in cleaning up hoards and paying for it out of their Mother's funds.

cwillie Apr 22, 2024
No don't bring her to the house, that would cause stress and anguish for all of you for no benefit.

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